Amazon Women on the Moon Page #2

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but have you looked around

this hospital?

There are sick people here.

I just saw this old guy in the hallway

with these gnarly scabs all over his body.

Gross me out!

[ Gags, Shudders ]

-I'm not about to expose your little Jeffrey...

-Nicholas.

to that.

- I've got a solemn oath to uphold here.

- Doctor...

Brenda and I are both

Lamaze graduates...

and we've never heard of quarantining

a healthy infant before.

Ooh, Lamaze.

Well, I forgot that you spent

three whole weekends sitting on a floor...

learning how to breathe.

I had to get by on a degree

from Harvard Medical School!

Please, it's important to us to see our child.

You've heard of bonding.

- Uh--

- Doctor.

We'd like to spend a little quality time

with our son, please.

A little quality time with your son?

That would be beautiful.

You people.

[ Scoffs ]

- What's with that guy?

- [ Woman On P.A. ]

Mrs Fernandez, front desk.

He's supposed to be

the top man in his field.

Well, when he brings in little Jeffrey,

we're going--

- Nicholas!

- [ Doctor ] Here we go.

- Here's the little tyke.

- [ Both ] Oh!

- Okay, that's enough germs.

- Wait! Wait a minute.

- We haven't even seen him yet.

- Go ahead, breathe all over him.

I don't care.

What is this, some kind

of sick practical joke?

What are you talking about?

He's got your eyes.

Take that hideous thing away.

Come on. They all

look like this at first.

You see, when the baby passes through

the birth canal, its head gets a little pointy.

He should round out

in a couple days. Promise.

That's not a baby.

That's a Mr Potato Head.

Harry, call

the hospital administrator.

Hey! You're right.

This is a Mr Potato Head.

Gosh, they're so lifelike.

Anybody could've made

this mistake.

I'll be right back

with the real Nicholas.

- Harry, what are they doing to us?

- Calm down, Brenda. Calm down.

We don't want you to get

post-partum anxiety.

Now, as soon as we get our son,

I'm going to report this quack.

Thank God you took that

assertiveness training course.

Yeah.

Here's the little tyke.

[ Chuckling ]

- You've been a naughty little baby.

Yes, you have.

- [ Sighs ]

- Playing peekaboo

with Mommy and Daddy.

- About time. Nick, it's your dad.

He's got a strong, determined jaw

just like his old man there.

[ Imitates Baby Cooing

And Crying ]

Whoops.

[ Imitates Baby Crying ]

- Great. Now you made him cry.

- I don't believe this.

[ Continues Imitating

Baby Crying ]

Is this okay?

Would you rather breastfeed him?

- Get away from me!

- I'm gonna kill you!

[ Gasps ]

What kind of hospital is this?

All right,

Mr and Mrs Lamaze!

You see, due to a slight clerical error,

your son has been temporarily misplaced.

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