Almost Heroes Page #2

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- I told him he can't.

- She's not my wife.

Not my wife. I buy her.

She belong to me as a property.

Well, the distinction has been noted.

Unfortunately, as you can see,

the boats have been fully loaded...

and we haven't even taken on my hats

and tea service.

They say you can't come.

You didn't let me finish.

Certainly we can make room.

I mean, who needs tea?

Let it be known...

that if I catch any man looking at her...

I will cut him like a pig.

Yes, I'll see if I can work that

into my speech.

Father.

Dear Lord in Heaven...

bless us as we leave this Christian world...

and give us courage to bring

your gospel of love and tolerance...

to the ignorant,

godless savages who await us.

Amen.

- All right. Let's go!

- Hold on, Mr. Hunt. Hold on, everyone.

I prepared a short address

to commemorate our embarkation.

Here we go.

Men, we are about to embark

on an unprecedented adventure...

to the great Northwest.

Unfortunately, Lewis and Clark

have a two-week head start...

so time is of the essence.

We will be pushing up the Missouri.

What? Against the current?

Mightn't it be easier

to go down the Mississippi...

- instead of up the Missouri?

- Yes, it most certainly would be.

We could go to New Orleans instead.

Gentlemen,

we have already been to New Orleans.

Sir, I've been to New Orleans.

It's wonderful.

I've been there as well.

The food alone is worth the trip.

The food, sir.

New Orleans.

All right, fine!

Any man who is too cowardly

to share the greatest adventure...

in our young country's history...

and would rather experience

the decadence of New Orleans, well...

then go right ahead.

Mr. Hunt, do something.

Next man who leaves for New Orleans...

will do so with a lead ball in his back!

Need I remind you

that you all have signed contracts?

What about them?

- They will be dealt with.

- By who?

- All right, they escaped.

- Now get in the boat!

Everyone.

And so our journey begins.

I believe the men and I share

a tremendous sense of excitement...

and anticipation for what lies ahead.

Thank you, Higgins.

Your music will be a welcome companion

on our long journey.

Men, we'll be following

the map of trapper Pierre LeBlanc...

who explored the Missouri in 1792.

Hunt,

you've traversed most of these territories.

Tell the men

what they might expect to encounter.

Okay. Well...

- what I remember most were the animals.

- The animals.

Fearsome beasts

of the mountains and plains.

I seen a bear so powerful...

that it snapped a man's body in half

with his huge jaws.

I seen a badger with paws

as big as frying pans.

They'd rip your face right off. Right off!

There's nothing you can do with that.

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