All Relative Page #2

- You at least make out?

- No.

But... we're supposed

to go out to dinner.

Mm-Hmm. Yeah.

And that relationship's dead.

You think so?

Why do you think it's dead?

Have you ever

successfully dated a girl

Where you didn't get

some small kiss

Or some inkling of progression

by the night's end?

I got her number.

Meaningless without a make out.

But you know what?

Tell me about the second one.

I don't know.

The sec... the second one

was a one-Night thing.

It was... it was nothing.

- Was she hot?

- Yeah.

- Older.

- Oh?

- Yeah.

- Older. Okay.

Now you can reapproach

the first girl

With that confidence

you were lacking.

I'm confused.

I thought you just said

the first one was dead.

You can text her

something naughty.

Like, what is she, uh...

you know, what kind of panties

does she wear?

Like, oh, is she loud...

she's seeing someone else, okay?

Scratch her off the list.

Text the milf something dirty.

She's totally your strong hand.

I'm not texting anybody.

You have a golden opportunity

To have a little fun with

zero chance of getting hurt.

- Shh. Shh, shh. Hello?

- Zero chance.

Oh, hey.

All right, yeah. Bye.

- Who was that?

- It was the second one.

She wanted to hang out later,

so we might, you know...

Jared, stop that.

Don't look at me like that.

I'm just maybe

grabbing a coffee with her.

Look at me. That's it.

God.

Oh, god.

Your secret's gonna come out.

What secret?

When all the other girls

find out how good you are,

I'm gonna have to beat them

off you with a stick.

I'm just messing with you.

I wouldn't want this to be

anything more than what it is.

Hmm?

Yeah.

Tell me about the girl

from yesterday.

What girl from yesterday?

You know.

What girl from yesterday?

The one that got you all

bent out of shape at the bar.

Is she cute?

Come on.

She... yeah.

I thought we had a connection,

And then she told me

that she was seeing another guy,

And she had, uh, she had

promised this guy a third date,

So... anyway, that

was it, you know?

It's over.

What?

No, it's not over!

- It is very much over.

- No!

Text her.

Right now?

Yeah.

She just wants to be friends.

She's playing hard to get.

You're unbelievable.

I can't believe

you're encouraging this.

You know what? I'll text her.

No. You will not.

You will not text anyone,

young lady.

I will text her.

When I get home.

Text her now.

If she answers right back,

It's because she likes you.

I'll see if she wants

to grab dinner tonight.

It's too last minute.

It's as if you weren't

really thinking about her.

Ask her to something

more casual,

Like coffee or lunch.

How about

I invite her to brunch?

"Hey.

You... want to grab... brunch

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