All About 'Abigail's Party' Page #3

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- Yes, I was.

It's lucky, 'cause if I'm working on a Saturday,

and he's off, he can do the shopping.

Oh. Don't you find shopping boring, Ange?

- Mmm.

- I do. I hate it.

He takes me down in the car, I get my wheelie,

Tone, I whiz in and grab anything I can see,

bung it in my wheelie, he writes me a cheque,

we bung it in the car,

- and then it's done for the week.

- Beverly's not very organised.

She doesn't believe in making shopping lists.

- You have a car, do you?

- Yes, an Escort.

- A yellow one?

- Yes.

- I've seen it.

- Yes, it's beautiful.

- Beverly was saying you only like Minis.

- No, no, not at all, no.

I don't only like Minis. No, I like lots of other cars.

But I find the Mini economic, efficient and reliable.

And the most suited for my purposes.

Of course, I change my car every year.

Yeah, but what I say, Ange, is this.

What's the point in changing your car

just to change the colour?

That's not all you change, Beverly!

The design does alter!

- You're not a motorist. You don't understand.

- OK, Laurence!

- I know I failed my test three times...

- Three times!

Plus, Ange, I'm his wife. A wife

should have a little say in choosing the car.

When you've passed your test,

you can have a little say.

Until then, Beverly, please leave it to me.

Let me put it this way, Ange.

When we chose the furniture,

we chose it together.

When we chose the house, we chose it together.

- But when it comes to...

- Beverly, that is a ridiculous argument.

Buying a house is one of the most important

decisions you ever make in your life.

- Don't you agree?

- Yes.

- Isn't it, Tony?

- Definitely.

'Cause it was so worrying

with the mortgage and everything.

- 'Cause I never thought I'd live in a house.

- Didn't you, Ange?

- No.

- Excuse me, I'm afraid I really must be off.

- Don't be all night, please, Laurence.

- No.

I do apologise. I shan't be long.

- Don't forget the light ales!

- No. And the lagers.

- Are you going to take your test again?

- I'll have another try, Ange.

Don't get me wrong, Tone. It's not that

I can't drive. In fact, I'm a good driver.

But let me put it to you this way.

When I get to my test, my nerves fail me.

D'you know what I mean?

It was my nerves

that failed me last time, Ange.

Because I set off, Tone, behind this bloke who

was taking his test - a Chinese bloke, actually.

Right, so we were going along. Now...

My examiner had told me to turn left, right?

So we came to the first "Give way".

Now, the bloke in front, he slams his brakes on.

Now, I'm going behind him, I suppose

a bit too quick with my nerves, you know.

Right, so I slam my brakes on

and I went slap in the back of him.

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