Al Madrigal: Why Is the Rabbit Crying? Page #2

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And she's cool with it.

That's the best part.

She's like,

"Was I talking too much?

#Thank you." And it works for me.

So I rub the back

of my wife's thumb.

She knows that means,

"Cholo, 3:
00. Look alive."

He's coming right at us,

like I said.

#Lot of neck tattoos.

I'm trying to decipher 'em

on the fly.

But I didn't watch

Prison Break or Oz.

#They all mean something, right?

So I'm going,

"Why is the rabbit crying?

"What does that mean?

#He did something to a rabbit."

Me and my wife held each other

for a little bit, thinking,

"Okay, we had a good run, baby.

Now we're going to die."

The guy comes up.

#Turns out he's our son's coach.

No sh*t.

He goes,

"Hey, everybody.

My name's Coach Frankie.

But you can call me Rascal."

"See, honey? We're not going to die.

Coach Rascals here.

It's gonna be fine."

He then presents us

with a snack list.

When your child

is in any sport,

the team mom, or in this case,

a very scary

Mexican gang member,

has prepared a document to determine

what family

is responsible

for snack on any given game day.

He's laid his out perfectly

in Microsoft Word tables.

He left-justified

all of his text.

#He didn't go with a gothic-y cholo font

like you'd expect him to.

#He used Arial,

like we all should.

He centered his header,

he imported some clip art,

and he was very proud of it,

so we found ourselves-he-

"I wrote a snack list."

"Check it out,

my snack list."

So me and my wife

found ourselves

in that great couple moment

where you're holding hands

trying not to laugh

at somebody right in front of you,

doing the Morse code

hand squeeze,

going, "Cholo made a snack list.

Cholo made a snack list.

"Don't laugh at the cholo.

Don't laugh at the cholo.

"Oh, my God.

Cholo made a snack list.

So proud of it."

Now, if you're a young couple

doing this for the first time,

this snack thing,

and you have kids in any sport,

you want to go

at the beginning of the season

when expectations are low.

#You bring some Teddy Grahams,

some Capri Suns, fruit,

you brown bag it.

Wanna go the extra mile?

Freeze a Go-Gurt.

They f***ing love that.

What happens

is you wait too long,

then in the middle of the season,

some a**hole with disposable

income brings Happy Meals,

ruins it for the rest

of the families yet to go.

Then by the end

of the season,

you're forced to bring pizza,

a DJ, and a stripper.

And everybody's

still complaining.

#They're like, "Are these songs fast to you?

She seems older."

So he's made

a snack list.

#He's also the worst coach ever,

but you can't do

anything about it.

He's so intimidating.

#He actually said this to the kids.

They're five

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