Airplane! Page #3

ELAINE:

I have been patient and I've tried to

help, but you wouldn't even let me do

that.

STRIKER:

Don't you feel anything for me at all any

more?

ELAINE:

It takes so many things to make love last.

Most of all it takes respect. And I can't

live with a man I don't respect!

She leaves.

STRIKER:

(to CAMERA)

What a pisser.

INT. TERMINAL BUILDING - CONCESSION AREA - NIGHT

CAPTAIN CLARENCE OVEUR is standing at the magazine racks.

The first two sections of the display are books; the third

is girly magazines. The captions over the dis­play are

FICTION, NON-FICTION, WHACKING MATERIAL. He selects a

magazine entitled "Modern Sperm" and begins to page through.

P.A. SYSTEM (v.o.)

Captain Clarence Oveur, white courtesy

phone. Captain Clarence Oveur, white

courtesy phone.

Captain Oveur approaches telephones and picks up a red

phone.

OPERATOR (v.o.)

No, the white phone.

Oveur picks up the white phone.

OVEUR:

This is Captain Oveur.

OPERATOR (v.o.)

One moment for your call from the Mayo

Clinic.

P.A. SYSTEM (v.o.)

Captain Oveur, white courtesy phone.

Captain Clarence Oveur...

OVEUR:

(yelling at ceiling)

I've got it!

P.A. SYSTEM (v.o.)

All right. Thank you.

OPERATOR (v.o.)

Go ahead with your call.

TURNANSKY (v.o.)

This is Doctor Turnansky at the Mayo

Clinic.

INT. DR. TURNANSKY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

DR. TURNANSKY is seated at desk. Behind him are shelves

filled with mayonnaise jars.

TURNANSKY:

There's a passenger on your Chicago flight

two-oh-niner, a little girl named Lisa

Davis -- en route to Minneapolis. She's

scheduled for a heart transplant and we'd

like you to tell her mother that we found

a donor an hour ago.

On his desk is a beaker containing a beating heart.

TURNANSKY:

We have the heart here ready for surgery

and we must have the recipient on the

operating table within six hours.

The heart jumps out of the beaker, across the desk and falls

off the edge.

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