Addicted to Fresno Page #3

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I didn't know

you had that plan.

Hey have you seen

Alicia around?

I just thought

that I would see her

'cause she usually

works out at night.

I mean, thank God I didn't

'cause it's just...

it's weird because, you know,

she can't work out

in the morning.

And she doesn't get down

with her paralegal stuff

until like 7:
00.

And then she can only really

work out between 7:30 and 8:30

because she has to watch

"the good wife" at 9:00.

And she's not here.

I haven't seen her.

I probably shouldn't

tell you this

but I really think

I pulled something

like, I mean gluts back there.

I probably shouldn't have

had those beers pre-class.

That's okay.

Why don't we go somewhere

and continue having beers?

And then get some thai food

or something.

Do you want to do that?

I love thai.

It's just it sucks

because I can't tonight so,

you know, my sister is back

and I just... I don't want to

leave her home alone too long.

She's still fragile.

Okay, cool.

I mean not cool that she's

fragile or whatever. I'm sorry...

what's up, shorties?

What?

I was just trying

to make some small talk.

Bye.

Bye.

Today we're talking about our

bottoms, so p.s. On the tops.

Watch the trigger material,

please.

Sorry, Denise.

Talking about our rock bottoms.

I was living

a pretty awesome life.

I worked at "the Oprah show"

in Chicago.

I started as an assistant,

worked my way up

to associate producer.

I was making a lot of money.

And I was doing a lot of blow,

like, a lot of blow.

And you know how blow is.

It's very slimming.

I had like abs to my neck.

I looked like a f***ing

Pakistani mark-Paul Gosselaar.

That's Zack Morris

from "saved by the bell."

Everything was going great.

I had that sh*t on lock,

or so I thought.

Cut to two years later

and I wake up completely naked in

an abandoned construction site

outside of wrigley field.

How did I get there?

I don't know.

I don't even like baseball.

Anyway when I...

Did make it to

work that day, I got fired.

Oprah was very strict

about that.

I was this close to Oprah,

literally this close.

She would walk right by me.

And I threw it all away

for drugs and dick...

mediocre, mediocre dick.

Pretty good drugs though.

Thank you.

I don't, like, consider

losing a job a bottom.

It wasn't just any job.

It was a job with Oprah winfrey.

Who gives a sh*t about Oprah?

America.

She's a b*tch.

Shan, the smog index is at 2.

It's a great day. Get up.

Hey, shan,

I laid out your uniform and the

shower's hot and ready for you.

I'm going to make us breakfast.

Okay.

You need to get up.

I heard you.

I'm employee of the month

so I don't want to be late.

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