Ace Ventura Jr: Pet Detective Page #2
- Year:
- 2009
- 322 Views
Greeny! Greeny!
Greeny!
Yoo-hoo!
- Well, she's gone.
- Yeah.
Owner is one Laura Wilson.
Smart, funny, greatlistener.
(sniffs)
Excellent personal hy giene,
a smile that'll make y ou feel
like pudding inside
and skin like peaches and cream.
Exceptfor may be this one spot
- Possibly a pimple?
- A pimple? Where?!
- Oh, I'm such an idiot.
- (barks)
No one asked y ou. Um...
Oxnard and I must be going now.
Anyw way, y our collection of aquatic friends
will have their emerald companion back in...
- (clock ticks)
- (bell chimes)
...three day s.
- Really?
- I promise.
You broke y our promise.
What did I tell y ou?
That I'm not responsible for the well-being
of every stray animal in every corner of the planet.
- But, Mom, I had to.
- Do y ou think I like scooping poop all day? I don't.
I got this job so y ou could see animals
as much as y ou want, when y ou want,
safely and with complete supervision.
Yeah, but it's not the same, OK?
I want to find lost animals.
I love it.
OK, I tried every other extracurricular activity
y ou wanted me to
and I mastered them all.
What?
(sings loudly) Aaaaaaaaaah!
Next.
(blows whistle)
Bananas.
P-r-e-t-t-y. Pretty.
- (man) That is correct.
- (applause)
Yourword is
"antidisestablishmentarianism."
P-r-e-t-t-y.
- Pretty.
- (buzzer)
(sniffs)
- This was a dumb idea!
- (loud splash)
Aaaaaargh! Argh!
OK, may be I didn't
master all of them,
but may be athletics
aren't my calling.
W-wait, was Dad an athlete?
A good speller?
An entertainer?
This is not abouty our dad.
We'll talk about him another time.
- Mom, y ou alway s say that.
- I'm not ready for that talk y et.
- We can have itwhen y ou're older.
- (Ox burps)
I am older, Mom. I'm 12 y ears old
and I'm starting to have all these weird feelings
and I don't have a dad for...
"that talk."
Honey, every body y our age
has those feelings.
No, Mom. (slurps noisily)
Not these feelings.
That's it! You are not eating out of a dog bowl,
y ou are not sticking y our head out of a carwindow
and y ou'll use the toiletfor something other than drinking.
You'll be like other kids!
- But, Mom, this is who I am.
- No, it's not.
It's who y ou're acting like.
(panda squeals)
(panda roars)
(pandas whine)
Huh?!
(fartss)
- Morning.
- Good morning, Mom.
- Hey, what's with that hat on?
- What hat?
- Ace.
- It's what all the kids are doing.
You said y ou wanted me to be like them,
so here y ou go.
Not at the table.
Mom.
Mom, the cereal!
- Oh, my God.
- What?
- It's happening.
- What is it?
(man) Puty our hands up!
Stay still!
Don't move!
- Melissa Ventura?
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"Ace Ventura Jr: Pet Detective" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/ace_ventura_jr:_pet_detective_2189>.
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