Ace Ventura Jr: Pet Detective Page #2

Synopsis: The son (Josh Flitter) of a supersleuth comes to the rescue when his mother is the prime suspect in the kidnapping of a baby panda.
Genre: Action, Crime, Family
Year:
2009
322 Views


Greeny! Greeny!

Greeny!

Yoo-hoo!

- Well, she's gone.

- Yeah.

Owner is one Laura Wilson.

Smart, funny, greatlistener.

(sniffs)

Excellent personal hy giene,

a smile that'll make y ou feel

like pudding inside

and skin like peaches and cream.

Exceptfor may be this one spot

on her perfectly formed chin.

- Possibly a pimple?

- A pimple? Where?!

- Oh, I'm such an idiot.

- (barks)

No one asked y ou. Um...

Oxnard and I must be going now.

Anyw way, y our collection of aquatic friends

will have their emerald companion back in...

- (clock ticks)

- (bell chimes)

...three day s.

- Really?

- I promise.

You broke y our promise.

What did I tell y ou?

That I'm not responsible for the well-being

of every stray animal in every corner of the planet.

- But, Mom, I had to.

- Do y ou think I like scooping poop all day? I don't.

I got this job so y ou could see animals

as much as y ou want, when y ou want,

safely and with complete supervision.

Yeah, but it's not the same, OK?

I want to find lost animals.

I love it.

OK, I tried every other extracurricular activity

y ou wanted me to

and I mastered them all.

What?

(sings loudly) Aaaaaaaaaah!

Next.

(blows whistle)

Bananas.

P-r-e-t-t-y. Pretty.

- (man) That is correct.

- (applause)

Yourword is

"antidisestablishmentarianism."

P-r-e-t-t-y.

- Pretty.

- (buzzer)

(sniffs)

- This was a dumb idea!

- (loud splash)

Aaaaaargh! Argh!

OK, may be I didn't

master all of them,

but may be athletics

aren't my calling.

W-wait, was Dad an athlete?

A good speller?

An entertainer?

This is not abouty our dad.

We'll talk about him another time.

- Mom, y ou alway s say that.

- I'm not ready for that talk y et.

- We can have itwhen y ou're older.

- (Ox burps)

I am older, Mom. I'm 12 y ears old

and I'm starting to have all these weird feelings

and I don't have a dad for...

"that talk."

Honey, every body y our age

has those feelings.

No, Mom. (slurps noisily)

Not these feelings.

That's it! You are not eating out of a dog bowl,

y ou are not sticking y our head out of a carwindow

and y ou'll use the toiletfor something other than drinking.

You'll be like other kids!

- But, Mom, this is who I am.

- No, it's not.

It's who y ou're acting like.

(panda squeals)

(panda roars)

(pandas whine)

Huh?!

(fartss)

- Morning.

- Good morning, Mom.

- Hey, what's with that hat on?

- What hat?

- Ace.

- It's what all the kids are doing.

You said y ou wanted me to be like them,

so here y ou go.

Not at the table.

Mom.

Mom, the cereal!

- Oh, my God.

- What?

- It's happening.

- What is it?

(man) Puty our hands up!

Stay still!

Don't move!

- Melissa Ventura?

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David Mickey Evans

David Mickey Evans (born October 20, 1962) is an American film director and screenwriter. His films tend to focus on children and the challenges of childhood. A baseball fan, Evans directed and co-wrote The Sandlot (1993). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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