Accidents Happen Page #2

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If this happens in

a practice session,

what the hell are

you gonna do to him

in a real game?

It was an accident.

Are you all right?

You mean speaking

of accidents?

Gloria, don't start.

My husband

wants a divorce.

Yeah, he wants

to move on.

Start a new wife.

Billy.

Oh, I guess you didn't

find a really good

time to tell him.

I mean, what, with

the concussion and all.

Billy, Im sorry.

Im sorry. Im so stupid.

I think it would be

best for everybody.

Don't mind

my husband here.

He has his head

rammed so far up

his ass,

that every time he blinks,

it tickles his fancy.

Where's Larry?

We could use a hand!

Not here.

Is he visiting Gene?

If you did that

once in a while, you

might feel better.

And if my grandmother

had balls, she'd be

my grandfather.

You leave that!

Don't you touch

it. Put it down.

Billy can take

care of it. We

don't need you.

Oh, do me

one favor, though.

On your way out,

could you please, please,

take the time to trip over

your dead daughter's bicycle?

Are you okay?

Should I call

an ambulance?

No. Call the National Guard.

This, I think,

qualifies as

a disaster.

Im gonna take your

mother to the hospital.

She's having female problems.

What do you mean?

You can stay

at my house.

I don't think

that's a good idea.

Im not staying with Dad.

Is that, uh, son of

yours, is he still

causing problems?

Do you want

my help or not?

Gloria didn't

like taking help.

It made her feel

vulnerable, and that

frightened her.

And Dottie's help

had brought Billy

into contact

with Gene's old

friend, Douglas Post.

The Columbia

engines will be--

It's not every day

you get to see

history happen.

Dottie! Im empty!

History is not happening.

It happened the other day.

Don't wise off, Doug.

They got back alive.

That's what Im trying

to tell you.

Hey, you, play nice

in front of our guest.

Yeah, the other day!

When they made history.

If Columbus didn't

make it back after

he discovered America,

we wouldn't be sitting

here watching this

on TV.

Isn't that right, Billy?

Your TV's really nice.

We would too be sitting here,

'cause someone else would've

discovered America.

You're not

listening to me, Doug.

Look, it's the

invention of the wheel,

Christ and all

that business,

the discovery of

America by Columbus,

the discovery

of gravity,

World War I,

World War II,

and the moon landing.

That's the history

of the world so far.

Oh, this isn't

still on, is it?

What a yawn festival.

Can't we watch Dallas?

We're watching this.

In the early days

of our republic,

Americans watched

Yankee clippers fly

across the sky--

You know Billy Conway from

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