Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie Page #2

No.

Oh, come on.

Leave it, Bo.

Women, can't live with 'em,

can't...

Is this little Lola?

Oh.

Africa.

We are sisters.

My people are your people.

Which people?

Black people.

I am a black person.

Deep down, we are all black.

Oh!

So, can I have

an advance?

No. What is this?

I just don't get it.

Well, this isn't how it would be written.

This is how I dictated it to Bubble.

Bubble. What is Bubble?

My P.A., Bubble.

Oh, I thought it was new software.

You see, I'm just not really understanding

anything you say.

I need a coffee.

Coffee!

I mean,

the world of P. R.

Mmm.

Who really knows

what P. R. is?

P. R. is everything.

I am P. R.

I took Sting and

put him in the rainforest,

gave the little pygmies a party.

I put Bono behind yellow glasses.

I gave celebrities AIDS.

The T-shirt.

Anyway, look...

there's not enough here.

What do you mean, not enough?

There's pages and pages.

I dictated it to Bubble.

It mostly just says,

"Blah, blah, blah."

Who do you

represent in P. R.?

Well, it's not just the "who's",

it's the "what's".

It's the likes of...

Not the "likes of", the "actuals".

The singer Lulu.

Who else?

Spice Emma, Baby Bunton.

And?

Queen Noor.

I have a huge

boutique vodka.

I have Pop-Specs.

Joel.

Graham! Graham, I know you.

I know him.

He loves me.

I don't love you.

You're gay, come on.

I don't love you!

Leave me alone.

I don't know what's wrong with him.

All my friends are gay.

And Nigella!

Yes. I know Nigella.

Write a chapter on that.

Me and Nigella...

eating late at night...

in a fridge.

No.

Can I have an advance?

No.

Why?

Because it's sh*t.

Eddy, let's go.

I'll be late.

You only read 'em.

You don't write 'em.

You just work in the shop.

You think your life's

interesting. It isn't.

It may be worth living,

but it's not worth reading.

It's happened. Move on.

Bloody, bloody books!

Bloody books!

Blah, blah, blah!

Bloody books!

I have to check

the Huki Muki mannequins

before tonight.

Coming with me, Eds?

No, I can't.

I've got that P. R. persons

lunch-of-the-month lunch.

Brunch.

A munch-of-the-munch munch?

Not munch. Lunch.

Oh, kill her, Eddy.

What are we going to?

Have you rung Lulu yet?

Oh, shut up about Lulu.

Don't rush me.

I haven't got any money.

Get someone to pay at the other end.

Where's my car?

It's gone back to Baby Bunton.

But I need wheels!

Oh!

But you were only given feet.

Oh, shut up.

Yeah. Love. Love.

Hate.

Put the fishtail next to the red blob.

And change that mannequin, it's too fat.

Why are we doing this by the river?

It stinks of fish.

Is that you? Good grief.

What's the food?

Oh, raw.

Freshly dead, octopus with a pulse?

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