Absolute Beginners Page #2

I couldn't even afford a down payment.

But anyway, you don't get a girl

like Suzette on the never-never.

It's not that I've got

anything against money,

it's just what you have to do to get it.

Still, there's always tomorrow.

At least, there's other

casanovas in the same boat.

Napoli, the land that time forgot.

We always came home

with the night shift.

Now you might say,

"If you're so cute, kiddo,

"how come you live in

a disaster area like this?"

Well, for one thing,

as you might imagine, it's cheap.

Cash to the landlord once a week.

But otherwise, goods circulating

on a more or less informal basis.

I saw that.

But the thing I love most

about these streets

was the thing that made some people

positively hate them.

Because here, nobody cared

where you came from or what color,

what you did or who you did it with.

Santa Maria.

Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly Suzette's

idea of a desirable address,

which is why I've never

brought her home.

- Catch.

- How's that?

Come on!

Come on, you owe me two months' rent,

and I'm not going until I've got it.

You can't charge rent

for that, Saltzman.

You need to put a roof on it first.

- Hiya, Big Jill.

- Hiya, lady killer.

Oh, Napoli, Napoli, Napoli

Not the one in Italy

Come on, darling.

Home.

Sweet and sour home.

People often ask me how I became

dressmaker to the Queen.

My answer is always that I owe it all

to my wonderful clientele.

And I can only hope that you kind ladies

will grace our latest collection

with your favor.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Henley's

new Elizabethan collection.

Opening with a selection of

costumes de baigneuses,

with a touch of rococo,

in aquamarine,

bouteille, and nuit.

Decorated with cerulean oysters,

pearled fish, scallop shells

and shimmering starfish.

Guaranteed to sink any passing ship.

And for evening wear,

our shell and mermaid creations

in crepuscule and turquoise

and inlaid with over

18,000 Majorcan pearls.

And for the more daring among you,

our latest bikini styles

in oyster and coral motifs.

Henley, you have got to be kidding.

I mean, you are not seriously

going to show these gowns in Paris.

Honey, they will laugh you

off the stage.

And, Henley, hemlines can't come down.

They've got to go up.

Really, Dido, there's nothing worse

than the back of a woman's knees.

They remind me of uncooked rock cakes.

Somebody help me!

- Oh, God, Suzette.

- I'm just taking off my...

Oh, Colin.

I said I wouldn't do this.

And here I am doing it.

A few painless shots,

and I can pay for dinner.

That's what I call integrity.

But you've never heard it

like this, Mr. Charms.

It's a sure-fire hit.

Just look at these fame-starved urchins

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