About Last Night Page #2

---

- What?

- It's so sad.

- She has to get it in at work.

- Also not true.

You're not by yourself. Let me tell

you something. He just as sad.

Yawn-fest over here,

he ain't been out

since his ex-girlfriend Alison

broke up with him over a year ago.

Easy.

That's because he felt emasculated.

I mean, she left him.

That happens a lot,

don't be embarrassed.

Baby, he should hook up with Debbie,

so they could be boring together!

- Y'all should hook up and do this.

- He should hook up with Deb.

Oh, yeah. I wanna do that.

- You wanna do that?

- I wanna do that.

Let me tell you something,

we will never be boring.

Me and you will never be boring.

Public place. Get a room!

That's what I mean. Boring!

- I'm about to boo you.

- It's okay, fine.

Baby, I'm gonna go to

that place where you pee.

- Want me to go with you?

- No, I'm fine, I'm fine!

I'm about to go to that

place where she pees, too.

All right.

Here I go.

Sh*t, yeah, I am.

Hey, hey. I'm sorry I said

that sh*t about Alison.

- Just go.

- I shouldn't have said that.

- Please.

- I'm gonna beat this p*ssy up.

Go, please!

Wow.

I'm not really boring.

Yeah, me neither.

I just pretend to be, so that

she can be the crazy one.

This may be the worst date I've ever

been on, and it's not even my date.

I've definitely had worse.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- That's why I don't go out much.

- It's not worth it, right?

Why even try something when 95%

of the time it's just an epic failure?

Because that other 5% can

be pretty mind-blowing.

Turn around! Put your hand up here.

I don't feel like a lady!

Listen. Listen.

- I'm a flower.

- Okay, you're my flower.

Okay, you know what you're gonna do?

You're gonna sit on me.

- That's it!

- Okay.

- I'm going to sit on you, okay. Okay.

- Come here.

- Oh, my God, what is that?

- You flushed it!

You can turn that thing off.

It's work.

I should go. I have to get

up early in the morning.

Can I walk you out?

Yeah, sure.

Are you serious?

Yep.

So, you lived in L.A. six years and

you've never been to a Dodgers game?

Nope.

I have killer seats. I'll take you.

Are you asking me out?

Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Debbie?

Deborah Sullivan.

- Hello, Terrell. It's been a while.

- Six months.

You're too good to return my calls?

B*tch move, Deb.

It's okay. He's taken one too

many hits to the head, clearly.

- So, this you now?

- This is me.

Suit yourself. Life is short.

And so is he.

- He's corny.

- Yeah.

- Remember that 95% epic failure?

- Yeah.

- Exhibit A.

- Really?

Yep.

I'm sorry, was that weird?

No, I'll be your fake

boyfriend whenever you want.

But I wouldn't do this.

All right, so, what would you

do if you were my boyfriend?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes