A Wish for Wings That Work Page #2

---

(SINGING)

(THUDDING)

OPUS:
Alas, Father Christmas,

my brief career as an

aeronautic vigilante was over,

as was my patience.

That's it!

My cup runneth over with cats.

I need cats

like I need butt implants.

You still smell

like Brussels sprouts.

And look at you!

You have hair growing out

of your eyeballs.

You lay around the house

eating small rodents

like ding dongs and you...

Barf on the Chinese rug.

Barf on the Chinese rug.

You are the grand poobah

of worthlessness

and you can't even fly.

You ruin everything!

Go! Leave!

Shoo! Shoo!

(WHIMPERING)

(MUTTERING)

OPUS:

It was then, dear Santa Claus,

in the midst of

my most terrible conniption,

that my salvation

revealed itself to me.

You, sir. You are that.

Please, sir,

I have only one request

this Christmas,

one passion, one wish.

Some penguin wings that work!

I'll be flying

on Christmas morning.

I'll be flying

on Christmas day.

Ho, ho, ho!

Ho, ho, ho!

Hmm.

Turbulence.

Ho, ho, ho! Oh, no!

MAN:
Good morning, Lovey.

Oh, my word, of course, yeah!

Boy, we're traveling

in the wrong direction.

Wake up! We're going

in the wrong direction!

Couldn't you arrange

to make a little less noise?

I tell you

we're going west

and Shanghai

is way east of here!

Oh, quiet.

Feather's the best pilot

in China,

he knows what he's doing.

It's Feather!

Well, he might

have lost his way.

Of course!

That's what I told

him last night.

You can't expect a man

to sail around in the dark.

All right, all right,

calm yourself.

I'll speak to Feather.

Feather? I say...

Bob! Bob, wake up!

Something's happened!

It isn't Feather

in the cockpit!

The bloke up there

looks like a Chinese

or a Mongolian or something.

What? What?

We don't keep

the macadamia

nuts up here!

Talk to the stewardess!

Got to go.

I've got a Douglas DC-3

to fly!

It's a penguin.

I can fly this thing.

I can fly this thing.

Left foot, left rudder,

starboard stabilizing

ailertooter.

Ailertooter?

Ailertooter. Ailertooter.

Good evening.

This is the captain speaking.

If anyone knows where

the starboard ailertooter

is on a DC-3,

would you please press

your call button now?

(SCREAMING)

I can't stand it any longer!

Take us down!

I can't stand it...

Starboard ailertooter.

Starboard ailertooter.

We're going down.

Why are we going down?

Why are we going down?

We're going down

because penguins can't fly.

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS)

Yikes!

There.

(BANGING)

Calamity!

Catastrophe!

Cataclysm!

A considerable setback!

A yuletide debacle!

Pure and simple!

Come with us!

No time! Help!

Okay, okay,

let me just gargle.

Superfluous!

Needless!

Spread out!

Out! Out! Out! Out!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes