A Walk in the Woods Page #5

Me? Oh, hell, yeah.

I spent half my life getting drunk,

chasing p*ssy.

The other half I wasted. (LAUGHS)

- Have you seen these things?

- Yeah.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

F***ed.

Hey, you know,

everyone thinks

we're going to go onto that trail

and quit after a week, like most people do.

We're not most people, Bryson.

No. No, we're not.

- So, good night.

- Good night.

(LAUGHS)

(AIRPLANE WHIRRING)

All right then.

- Thank you, Mrs. Bryson. Bye.

- You're welcome. Good luck.

I'll meet you inside. Right?

- I will miss you, you know.

- I hope so.

(CHUCKLES)

I just want to go on

the record one last time

and say, I do love you.

Try not to die, okay?

I'll do my best.

Go on. Bugger off.

I remember this one guy that I picked up.

He came off the Trail.

He's not like you guys, a lot younger.

He got back there and just started crying.

I'm serious.

Cried all the way back to Atlanta.

Sat back there whimpering like a child.

When you drop people off,

can you tell whether

they're going to make it or not?

Oh. Yes, sir, yes, sir.

Every time, pretty near.

How about us?

Oh, well, here we are. (CHUCKLES)

Thank you.

- Here you go.

- Okay.

- Breakfast at seven.

- Seven.

- Yeah. Okay.

- Okay.

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

I hope you don't mind my saying,

but these are about

the best damn pancakes I ever had.

Is that right? Well, I like a man

who appreciates his pancakes.

- Well, I sure do appreciate these, honey.

- (LAUGHS)

- Would you like some coffee?

- Yeah.

And I'll get you a menu.

No, no, I've already eaten. Thanks.

Not bad looking, huh?

That depends.

You know what I look for

in a female these days?

A heartbeat and a full set of limbs.

Well, most people lower their standards

as they age.

- Yeah?

- You've actually raised yours.

(CHUCKLES)

You know, Bryson, I've been thinking.

Let's stay here another night.

- You kidding?

- No. No. It is cold outside.

It's warm in here.

- I am going.

- Wait a minute. (GRUNTS)

We go. We go.

Hey, hang on. I'd like to say a few words

if you don't mind.

All right.

- I don't want to reach for metaphors, but...

- No, reach, Bryson, reach.

Well, they say

the Appalachian Trail is like life.

Uh-huh.

You don't know what's ahead, you don't

know what's going to happen next,

but you give it your best shot.

Your best...

So, on that note...

- We go?

- We go.

All right.

(KATZ PANTING)

You keeping up?

Yeah. Keeping up.

(SIGHS)

Are we hiking or strolling?

What, is this a race?

We're trying to do 11 miles.

Slow and steady, pal.

You wanna burn out your legs, go ahead.

(GROANING)

- Just be nice to get there before midnight.

- Yeah, well.

(GRUNTS)

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