A Walk in the Woods Page #3
Yeah, yeah. Where are you?
(CHUCKLES) I'm in Des Moines.
Where the hell else would I be?
Well, it's good to hear your voice.
Yeah. Hey, Doug told me about
this Appalachian Trail deal of yours.
Yes, I'm very serious.
You think maybe I could come with you?
(STAMMERS)
You wanna come with me?
Yeah, if it's a problem, I understand.
- No, no, no, no.
- I mean, I understand if you don't want me.
No, why... Why wouldn't I want you?
Because, you know,
I still owe you 600 bucks from Europe.
Well, that was forty years ago, Stephen.
Yeah, but I still intend to pay you.
Well, I know you're good for it.
Ah, great, great.
BRYSON:
So, what kindof shape you in?
Well, I'm in good shape.
I walk everywhere these days.
Really?
Yeah, since the bastards
took away my license.
(CHUCKLES)
Um...
So, how are you with bears?
Well, they haven't gotten me yet.
(LAUGHS)
Well, you know there can't be a black bear
within 1,500 miles of Des Moines, Katz.
That's what I'm saying, man.
Those f***ers keep their distance.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
You'll never guess who just gave me a call.
No, no, no. Not Stephen Katz.
Mmm-mmm.
You said I couldn't go alone.
Well, presuming you were going
to get somebody responsible.
You don't even know him.
Well, I know the stories.
Didn't he have a drinking problem?
We all had drinking problems.
Well, you two ended up
on each other's nerves in Europe.
No, no, no, no.
We started out on each other's nerves.
We ended up despising each other.
(SCOFFS)
You know I hate this, right?
Sweetheart, I really don't think
you have anything to worry about.
No. Just my husband wandering off
into the woods,
surely to be maimed or killed
or contract some ghastly
parasitic disease which,
if lucky, will leave him propped up
in a chair, drooling into his own bib.
But there's nothing to worry about,
because of course
I'll be the one expected to stand
by your side, feeding you ice chips
until you capitulate to this
unnamed malady, and then what?
I get to stand in front
"He was a loving husband and father,"
"once considered to be
a man of reasonable intelligence,"
"since revealed to be nothing more"
"than a daft and utter fool."
Well, it's a shame I won't
be there to hear it.
Look, I know what this seems like, okay?
Have you actually
thought this through at all?
Of course not.
WOMAN:
(ON P.A) Lebanon Airportwelcomes Cape Air Flight 106.
Travelers arriving from Springfield
at Baggage Claim Carousel Four.
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
You are shitting me.
(BRYSON CHUCKLES)
- Hey, Stephen.
- Bryson.
How are you?
Hello, Steve-o.
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"A Walk in the Woods" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_walk_in_the_woods_2067>.
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