A Very Sordid Wedding Page #2

it wasn't them sumbitches,

G.W., remember?

Noleta burnt up them wooden

legs that killed Peggy.

I know that, you idiot.

You don't have to get nasty.

Hey, look on the bright side.

At least you once had a wife,

and a mistress.

Some of us ain't never found love.

Maybe it's 'cause no one wants you, Odell.

[laughing] You got that right.

Goddamn it, half-wit.

I was struck by lightning,

that's why I'm a little slow.

Made you smarter, in my opinion.

[G.W. laughing]

Princess Margaret was

Queen Elizabeth's sister

and her former

daughter-in-law,

Sarah Ferguson, is a duchess.

And Prince Charles had a mistress,

Camilla Parker Bowles.

And that's what killed Diana.

Well, that's good to know, Juanita.

Well, I ain't never seen any

love in your life neither.

Me and LaVonda had a good

thing goin' at one time.

Yeah, till she dumped your

ass, like, a million years ago.

Victory, that's a new one

I made up just right now.

"V", for victory, you see. [laughing]

Looks like a big hairless vagina to me.

I don't like that.

I got somethin' that'll

make you feel better, G.W.

A bullet through my head?

No, I'm puttin' back

together that 15-year tribute

for Peggy that was suppose

to have two years ago.

Got derailed by that hail storm and Odell

gettin' struck by lightning.

And then last year, Juanita

went missin' for two days.

Did you find me?

You got locked in the storage closet,

passed out drunk from

tryin' each and every one

of my liquors in there.

[laughing] Good times.

I never should have tried

to catch them hail balls

in my mouth, like peanuts.

Error in judgment.

We'll just make it a 17-year anniversary.

We can get together and

sing Peggy's favorite hymns

just like the good old days.

How's it gonna be like the good old days

when the love of my life,

Peggy, is six feet under?

You can't kill love, G.W.,

but love can kill you.

And you don't want that.

Did she just make sense?

Well, even a blind hog finds

an acorn every now and then.

Come to me, Tammy. I need you.

Why don't you ever come to me anymore?

Well, sh*t, she ain't a-comin'.

I'm gonna call my Aunt Sissy.

[Woman On TV] No, no,

no, no [crying]...

Oh, bless her heart.

[telephone ringing]

Hello.

[Earl] Hi, Sissy.

Oh, well, hello Brother

Boy, how are you, hun?

Oh, Sissy, I've been

havin' this dream.

My fantasies of Wardell

and I gettin' married

have started up again.

But it was a beautiful wedding,

and you were a bridesmaid.

Oh, thanks for askin' me.

It was a dream, Sissy.

But then, the dream turns

into an awful, awful nightmare.

And the wedding becomes Mama's funeral.

But Doctor Eve, you remember

that mean old store-bought

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