A Stand Up Guy

Synopsis: Sammy Lagucci is a lovable loser who just wants to do right by his daughter. When he finds out the gangsters he runs with are planning to take him out, he enters the Witness Protection program to protect himself and his family. Going from The Big Apple to a small town in Wisconsin gets him down at first, but on a dare he does an impromptu stand-up comedy routine and finds he has a knack for it. His act goes viral, and what should be a blessing turns into a curse when his newfound fame gets the attention of the mob.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Mike Young
Production: 2B Films
90 min

Calm down, Fabio, it's a fucking joke.


I'm didn't have to use the drill.

I thought we were gonna have to

do some weak point drilling here.

Is that what you call

it when you bang Lorie?

Everything is not a joke.

Holy f*ck.

- What?

- Holy f*ck.


200k, boys.

Motherfucking jackpot.

Freeze! Hands where we can see them.

One wrong move and Sammy

and I will shoot you for fun.

- F*ck this shit.

- Come on, come on.

Oh, my God.

Freeze, you fuckers.

Sammy Legucci, why am I not shocked?

Put the gun down, Tommy.

I'm telling you, bro,

crazy is the best in bed.

Uh, you sleep with a girl that never

met her real dad, shit's going down.

Come out of the bed,

you're missing a tooth,

you got a black eye, your foot hurts,

your ear's throbbing,

you're hearing new languages.

It's fucking amazing. Orphanage pussy.

Give it a shot, bro, trust me.


You got some real fucking issues.

You tell us who's running

things and we cut a deal.

Otherwise, you get the max and you know it.

There's nothing I can do here.

No offense, Tommy.

I mean, you can really use a mint.

What did you eat, everything?

- All right.

- Wise ass.

Friends or no friends, you ain't

leaving this room until you talk.

Uh, I'm disgusted with you.

I expected bigger things

from you in life, Sammy.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Voted "Most Likely to Succeed",

dated the hottest girl in school.

I don't know, I think you had options.

Now you're going away for

robbery, book-making, extortion,

I'm guessing fixing horses.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I never fixed no horses.

Give me some name, Sammy.

Save yourself, you know what I'm

saying? You know, you got a kid.

She's gonna need you around.

Think big picture. You

don't talk like that.

You do a bit, you come out,

you missed her confirmation,

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Mike Young


All Mike Young scripts | Mike Young Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Gaeilge (Irish)
  • Українська (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this A Stand Up Guy script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"A Stand Up Guy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 7 Aug. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_stand_up_guy_2027>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

A Stand Up Guy

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.