A Stand Up Guy Page #2

Synopsis: Sammy Lagucci is a lovable loser who just wants to do right by his daughter. When he finds out the gangsters he runs with are planning to take him out, he enters the Witness Protection program to protect himself and his family. Going from The Big Apple to a small town in Wisconsin gets him down at first, but on a dare he does an impromptu stand-up comedy routine and finds he has a knack for it. His act goes viral, and what should be a blessing turns into a curse when his newfound fame gets the attention of the mob.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Mike Young
Production: 2B Films
 
IMDB:
4.6
NOT RATED
Year:
2016
90 min
37 Views


you go back in, you missed her wedding,

you go in again, you missed her baby.

Before you turn around, you're an old

ex-con and you missed her goddamn life.

You're a cop or a psychic, what are you?

I'm both.

Sammy.

I got something for you.

It's only because I've

known you my whole life.

It's not a sad song mix tape, is it?

Might as well be.

Even though you didn't invite

me to your 21st birthday party.

'Cause I always knew

you were gonna be a cop.

What's up, Pat?

What's up? Your bearded

friend's gotta go.

Yeah?

He's a loose f***ing

cannon and I don't like it.

Never shuts the f*** up, f***, he

doesn't kick up when he's supposed to.

All right, now what do you

want me to do about it?

Nothing. Just go back to your wife

and I'll take care of the rest.

You wanna pretend

that life is a joke,

then, unfortunately, I

have to teach you a lesson.

'Cause that's what I do.

Little f***ing bearded lawn jockey.

All right, all right.

I've got a plan for this

extra head f*** wizard.

Looks like a Middle-Eastern

version of Merlyn, the magician.

I get it.

You know that voice?

Like the back of my hand.

This is a memorandum

of understanding, Sammy.

Keep a low profile till we

bring you back to testify.

We will provide you with a new

identity, a home somewhere in America,

$65,000 a year in salary,

and 24-hour protection.

That's a guarantee.

Guaranteed boring life,

that's what that is.

But as much as I hate to say it, on

this, you're doing the right thing.

The girls will stay with me.

Thanks, Frank.

Tell Maddy I'll be in touch

and that I love her very much.

Of course, kid.

What if I wanna go see her?

That's entirely up to you.

But we only provide protection as long

as you stay within these guidelines.

You know Pat's gonna make bail.

So watch your back.

Where are you taking me?

This is like the vanilla version of a life.

I don't feel good about this.

You think I give a damn how you feel?

Just keep your nose out of trouble.

I don't wanna have to

monitor your every move.

Isn't that your job?

So what?

Think I love my job?

I'm just gonna do my time,

save some lives,

make some extra bucks on the side,

you don't mind, do you?

I've got an ingrown

toenail I care more about.

You're a real sensitive guy, huh?

I'm here to keep tabs on you and that's it.

I don't like the small talk.

I don't like small talk either, okay?

I don't know what's more

depressing, your voice or my life.

I think I can answer that.

This is Sheriff Colin wood.

Wowie, looky here.

We have ourselves a real live

mafioso from the big city.

There's no such thing as

the mafia, okay? So relax.

Yeah, I'm sure there is not.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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