A Modern Twain Story: The Prince and the Pauper Page #2

Year:
2007
135 Views


- A thousand pardons, sir.

Talk to me in a normal voice

or I'm gonna punch you in the face.

Saved by the bell.

That's the luck of the Irish for you.

- Aye, matey, drop your sword!

- No way, man.

That's not what a pirate would say.

A pirate would say,

"I'll never drop me sword to you,

you scurvy dog!"

Tom Canty, I have had it with you!

What's the matter with you, boy?

Don't you have any interest

in any of your subjects?

Well, then what are we supposed to do

with you?

I can't possibly send you to detention again,

because it does no good.

What do you want to do with your life?

- I wanna be Eddie Tudor.

- Who?

You know, actor. He's in all the movies

like Pirates of the Peninsula and Spy Teen.

- You want to be an actor?

- Yeah, that's what I want to be.

In all the movies.

I mean,

I have books on acting and everything.

Then get yourself in an acting class.

But while you're in my school,

I'm gonna need you to behave

and pay attention.

Okay.

Listen, The Broadway Players are meeting

in the auditorium this afternoon.

- You know what that is?

- Yeah.

Then go.

I don't even want to be an actor.

I wanna take the boat out.

- This was supposed to be my day off.

- What can I tell you? The schedule changed.

This stinks. I don't get any time

to breathe around this dump.

I don't want to hear any more about it.

Well, maybe if I had a dad,

he'd want to hang out with me,

and I could get out of it.

Okay, enough with the guilt trip, Eddie.

You have me. That's enough.

Okay, talk to me. Well, how did it go?

You were supposed to fix it.

No... Hold on.

Eddie, go in the trailer for a second, okay?

I have to work out a little problem.

Fine.

Am I hearing this?

'Cause I'm not happy. Not happy.

I hate my life.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Hey, I was just wondering,

do you guys have any jobs available?

- On the lot?

- Yeah.

- Come back on Tuesday from 9:00 to 3:00.

- For what?

To fill out an application.

Oh! Oh, oh, I don't know if I want a job,

I just want to see if there are any.

Well, when you figure it out,

come back on Tuesday from 9:00 to 3:00.

Okay, thanks.

Hey. Eddie Tudor.

I don't want your bodyguard

to beat me up or anything.

- I don't have a bodyguard.

- You don't?

- Who the heck are you?

- Tom Canty.

Look, what do you want from me?

An autograph?

Oh, no. I just wanted to stop by and say hi.

I don't have many friends,

just a whole bunch of old people and losers.

Yeah, I can tell.

Yeah. Well, it's pretty cool that you get

to act in movies all the time.

- Oh, you're an actor?

- Yeah.

What have you been in?

This and that...

Well, nothing yet, but I'm hoping to be.

Why?

I mean, it's not like it's fun or anything.

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Jeffrey Hatcher

Jeffrey Hatcher is an American playwright and screenwriter. He wrote the stage play Compleat Female Stage Beauty, which he later adapted into a screenplay, shortened to just Stage Beauty (2004). He also co-wrote the stage adaptation of Tuesdays with Morrie with author Mitch Albom, and Three Viewings, a comedy consisting of three monologues - each of which takes place in a funeral home. He wrote the screenplay Casanova for director Lasse Hallström, as well as the screenplay for The Duchess (2008). He has also written for the Peter Falk TV series Columbo and E! Entertainment Television. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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