A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy Page #3

- Adrian!

- Hello.

- This is Dulcy.

- How do you do?

Charmed, I'm sure.

(crashing)

- He's down.

- Don't worry. I always carry bandages.

You must be tired after your motor trip.

Can I show you to your room... rooms?

- It's up to him.

- We'll just use one room.

- (Andrew) Maxwell!

- Andrew, you OK?

- I've fractured my last remaining nose.

- You shouldn't fly. You're a mammal.

Thank you, Maxwell. A doctor

with a licence is no smarter.

The man always insults me,

but when he's sick...

- Yeah, who overcharges me?

- But you always get well, don't you?

I would get well even without the leeches.

- Say hello to Dulcy.

- Hello, Dulcy.

Charmed, I'm sure.

- Maxwell, I'll help you with that.

- I'll show you to the house.

- Oh, it's a beautiful house.

- Thank you.

It was Andrew's before we were married.

Mm, smell that air.

Oh, a hammock. That's so nostalgic.

I lost it in a hammock.

- Pardon me?

- You really have to have good balance.

Dulcy's cute.

What is she, 12 years old? 13?

She's twice that. She's very experienced.

She couldn't keep her hands off me.

Will you grow up? You're like a character

in Greek mythology who's half-goat.

- You only live once.

- Yeah, I know your theory.

I see what goes on at the hospital.

I've had a hell of a week.

- Really?

- People with tumours and brain damage,

a guy with sudden heart failure... Young

people. We tell 'em they're gonna die.

And they never seized the moment, never

had a life. "Gather ye rosebuds", Andrew.

So you never have any interest

in getting married?

I don't stick around

long enough to fall in love.

Marriage for me is the death of hope.

Plus I can't seem to find that one person.

Oh...

What is it? What's the matter, Andrew?

What's wrong?

Maxwell.

Maxwell, things are very bad

with Adrian and myself.

- No!

- Yeah. We don't sleep together any more.

- That could be just temporary.

- It's been going on for six months.

- I don't know what to do.

- That's a long time.

- Maybe I should take your pulse.

- Oh, Jesus... It's awful.

She was never like that,

and then one day it just set in.

- Do you cheat?

- Of course I don't cheat.

What I do is I pour all my energy

into my inventions.

Because of my problem in bed with her,

I can now fly. It's awful.

Maybe she's anaemic.

Although it sounds like it's mental.

They're doing some amazing things

with hypnosis now in Europe.

Really? Hypnosis?

Hi! Maxwell, come on up!

She's a very pretty little girl, isn't she?

- Who?

- Dulcy, Maxwell's guest.

Why? Who were you thinking of?

Yes, she's adorable, I think. She is.

What was going through

your mind just now?

Just... Nothing. Why?

Last night, when you broke that glass

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