A Horrible Way to Die

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I must've...

I must've dozed off or something.

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I apologize. Watch your head.

Watch your... I'm sorry.

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Ready, one, two, let's go.

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You're gonna be fine.

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You're gonna be fine.

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Just relax.

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Hi guys. My name's Craig.

I'm an alcoholic.

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Hi Craig.

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Today is my five-year anniversary.

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That's five years of sobriety.

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Um, you know,

I know a few of you

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are just getting started

with this thing.

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I just wanted you to know

it does get easier.

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It never ends.

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Lord knows it never ends.

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But if you stick with it,

it does get easier.

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And believe me,

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if I can do it, then so can you.

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That's all I wanted to say.

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Thank you, Craig.

And congratulations again.

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On that note, I think

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there's someone else here

who has an anniversary

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that they need to celebrate today.

Am I right?

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Sarah?

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Oh, um... hi.

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I'm Sarah.

And I'm an alcoholic.

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Hi Sarah.

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This isn't... it's not really

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as big a deal as Craig's.

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It's just I'm three months today.

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Sarah, is there anything else

you'd like to say?

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No, that's all.

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No? Okay, well,

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unless anyone else has anything

they'd like to share,

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I guess we're done here.

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Okay.

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Lord,

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grant me the serenity

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to accept the things

I cannot change,

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the courage to change

the things that I can

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and the wisdom

to know the difference,

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living one day at a time,

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enjoying one moment at a time,

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accepting hardships

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as a pathway to peace.

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Amen.

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Thank you.

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Sh*t.

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- Hey Sarah.

- Hi.

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- Hey.

- Kevin.

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- Yeah, Kevin.

- Kev...

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That's right.

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I just wanted to come

say congratulations.

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It's a really big deal.

You should be proud of yourself.

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- Thank you.

- Yeah, you're welcome.

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Um, and I was thinking maybe

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if you wanted to go celebrate

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it would be my treat.

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I could take you out or...

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Uh, not tonight.

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That's all right.

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You've got plans.

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On the couch... a movie.

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Fair enough.

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All right, get home safe.

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Thanks.

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- Yeah, I'll see you next time.

- Okay.

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All right, congratulations.

Lt's really cool.

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Thank you.

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Uh, I could... I could do,

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like, Thursday lunch.

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Do you like ltalian food?

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Yeah.

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All right,

there's a great place

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right across the street

from my office.

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Let's do that.

Lt's called D'Amato's.

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Okay, see you then.

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Good.

Okay, drive safe.

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Stay warm.

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You know the drill.

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Run your hands through your hair

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and your beard.

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Open your mouth.

Your tongue... move it around.

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Show me your armpits.

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Lift your nutsack.

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And your dick.

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Turn around.

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