A Good Man Is Hard to Find Page #3

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Hey, Helen!

Gerald, is that you?

Is everything okay

with the tires?

The tires are fine.

But after we got home

last night,

Gerald and I kind of

ruined the shocks,

if you know what I mean.

We had car sex.

That's his mating call.

Not now, big guy.

He's probably gonna see

if the vending machine

has beer or tools.

Men and their tools...

Is that a squash?

Yo, Ubuntu, I think

your sister's still into me.

Really? You should date her.

She's a wonderful person.

Yeah, but I'm still

chilling with Amber.

She buys me stuff.

My grampa says a real man can

have as many girls as he wants.

God put them on Earth

to make men happy.

I do deserve to be happy.

See you, daddy!

Grampa's taking me

to the newsstand.

So I can decide what

my gentlemen's magazine

of choice is going to be.

I like "Dwell", but...

We're talking about

nudie magazines, Gerald.

Bye, dad.

I used to get

"Chocolate Nurse" magazine,

but they heavily edited

my letters,

so I canceled

my subscription.

I feel so lost, Helen.

I know Charlie

isn't the answer

to showing Ubuntu

how to be a man,

but now I'm not sure

I am, either.

I'm gonna

go draw a bath.

Stop right there, Gerald!

You are a man.

You've just lost

your confidence.

But I know how

you're gonna get it back.

A drum circle?

At the learning annex!

"Reawaken your manhood

with the ancient native american

art of drum circling."

They teach you how to summon

the mighty eagle inside of you.

You're always saying

how you want to do that.

Oh, that does sound good.

Is this everybody?

This is it. You ready

to unleash your inner man?

Okay, let's go back in time,

when men sat in circles

and told tales of the hunt.

And if you need to go

to the bathroom,

you don't need

to raise your hand.

Oh, easy, friend.

You want to leave yourself

somewhere to go.

Wow, I'm really digging this.

It's so raw, so tribal.

- Who are we?

- We are men!

Yes. Yes, I am a man!

Good news, Bliss.

- We're back on. - What?

I'm not interested in you.

But are you interested in

taking a shower with me?

You're not listening

to me, Kevin.

I hate you.

There's a fine line

between love and hate.

No, there's not.

You are so vile.

And now we kiss.

Bliss? Bliss!

Hey, Amber!

I guess we'll just keep it

you and me for now.

It was amazing, Helen.

I felt so alive

in that circle.

You seem different.

You even smell different.

I'd say musky.

Gerald, Ubuntu needs to see you

drum in all your primal glory.

Charlie can never

compete with that.

You're right.

Gambling and pornography

have nothing on the ancient

rhythms of the forest.

Nice face paint, Chad.

Hey, did you finally tell your

boss how you feel, Timothy?

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