A Genius, Two Friends, and an Idiot Page #3

Synopsis: Expert conman Joe Thanks teams up with half-breed Bill and naive Lucy to steal $300,000 from the Indian-hating Major Cabot. Their elaborate plan is full of disguises, double-crosses, and chases, but Joe always seems to know what he's doing.
 
IMDB:
6.4
Year:
1975
126 min
204 Views


to spend your money?

Vamos, Maricones.

Are you, for a change,

trying to screw me, madam?

- Lucy?

- The offer stays.

Take it or leave it.

Lucy!

Lucy, come back.

It's an order.

Climb aboard.

The girls are ready and waiting.

Steam Engine, I been looking for you.

Well, now that you've found me

I'll see you around.

Let's empty the hall.

Come on!

Wait, Bill.

I haven't seen him for ages.

- We hardly said hello.

- No more hellos.

- One more and you'll be expecting.

- So?

- Don't tease him. He gets jealous.

- Jealous!

I've more important things on my mind.

I pulled her out of the gutter.

She was a flea hive.

I washed her, combed her hair.

I made a lady out of her.

I surrounded her with luxury.

I catered to her every whim.

She's cost me an eye and an ear.

But I already told you.

If you want her, name your price.

I can't do it.

- She's priceless.

- Name your price, Joe.

Please, name your price.

Don't be surprised.

And do not jump

to the wrong conclusions.

I'm only here

to perform an act of justice.

There he is. That's him.

- Thou art the man.

- You an informer now?

You've been touched by God's grace.

Is that not so, my son?

- Admit it, Bill. You've been touched.

- I've been touched.

Is it in here, my son?

Check it carefully, Padre.

- Why did I save you in the desert?

- Because you never cheat a friend.

It's all there.

- Thanks be to God.

- Thanks be to Joe.

Just think of it. The man before you

was already far away.

Free and clear.

When, like Paul

on the road to Damascus,

he was struck

by God's heavenly light.

Burdened with remorse, he returned.

His heart heavy with despair

for his misspent life

in sin and shame.

- Who's he talking about?

- You.

Me? Why, you...

His noble gesture

would not be known

if it weren't for the testimony

of this good soul.

I only did my duty

as a faithful son of the Church.

Son of a b*tch!

When the prodigal returns

the heavens rejoice.

Glory, glory, glory.

On our knees we're bending.

Now the erring prodigal

Turns to the righteous way.

Glory, glory, glory.

Praying for thy blessing.

Our hearts in repentance

Pledge to Christ today.

Glory, glory, glory.

No hymns!

This is an honest house.

- We don't make fun of the Church.

- Joe!

- Where's he taking us?

- Keep counting!

Where was I? 315, 320.

$325 in charity.

That old bag only offered me 200.

You see, Bill.

Honesty is the best policy.

You're richer

and a priest kissed you.

Disgusting!

Why do you have to act worse

than you already are?

Sure, Twinkle-Toes here

never pukes, does he?

He doesn't do it in his hat.

He knows to do it

where decent folks do it. The privy.

You're wrong, Lucy.

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Ernesto Gastaldi

Ernesto Gastaldi (born 10 September 1934) is an Italian screenwriter. Born in Graglia, province of Biella, Italy, he has written under the pseudonyms Julian Berry, Julyan Perry and Ernst Gasthaus. He has collaborated with Mario Bava, Lucio Fulci, Riccardo Freda, Tonino Valerii, Sergio Martino and Sergio Leone; as such he can be regarded as a chief architect of the giallo and Spaghetti Western films. The 1973 Italian western comedy film My Name Is Nobody (also known as Mio nome è Nessuno and Lonesome Gun), is based on his story and his script. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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