
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
- APPROVED
- Year:
- 1966
- 99 min
- 1,621 Views
seeking money to buy your freedom.
Freedom? Oh, madam,
who would want to be free of you?
Who indeed?
- Hysterium?
- My mistress calls.
Slave-in-chief, drag this man home
and beat him without mercy.
- I shall be brutal.
- Good. Up.
We go to buy a breeder slave. Attend
to him, Hysterium, my slave of slaves.
I live to grovel. I shall lash him to pulp.
Strong men will blanch. My arm will...
"(auctioneer)" Come along. Theyre all
from Gaul and theyre all from Egypt.
You, sir... and you.
Come along now, gents. Theyre all
fresh in today. Dont waste my time.
No? Try Fertilla the Populator.
Has produced 18 healthy little slaves,
and is capable of producing 18 more.
You wont regret it.
Oh!
It is time we were gone. Senex?
Hysterium?
Ah, here you are. And there I am. A gift for
my mother on the anniversary of her birth.
104 and not an organ
in working condition.
- Will it please her?
- The craftsmanship is superb.
- And the likeness?
- Frightening.
We go.
Hysterium, here are my husbands final
instructions. Watch over our son Hero.
Keep him cheerful, well fed
and far from the opposite sex.
He must learn sometime.
When that time comes, you shall
teach him - what little you know.
Above all, do not let his eyes stray to that
house next door. I hold you responsible.
- Rather than let you down, I would die.
- That is what I had in mind.
- Furthermore...
- We are on our way.
- We are on our way.
- Come, Senex. Carry my bust with pride.
Yes, dear. A lesson to remember:
never fall in love during a total eclipse.
Thank you, sir.
- Where "is" Hero?
- Hes in his room, studying with his tutor.
The sun and the moon revolve around
the Earth, as do the four planets.
(5.00 / 1 vote)
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"A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 5 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_funny_thing_happened_on_the_way_to_the_forum_1900>.