A Few Best Men Page #4

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- Good plan, Luke!

- (Graham chuckles)

(Mia giggles)

DAVID:
I can't believe I can

actually reach out and touch you.

(Both laugh)

If it wasn't for that photo,

I'd swear Tuvalu was just...

A dream?

Yeah, sometimes I wish I'd just snap

my ngers and we'd be back there.

Be careful what you wish for.

What are we doing in the

middle of the jungle, Tom?

Does that thing have any

idea where it's going?

Yeah, we're just on a small detour.

Found this guy, he said he could

sell us some weed for tonight.

Are you mental? I'm not taking a detour

to some skanky drug dealer's house.

We're supposed to be here for David!

This is for David, bell end.

For his stag night. We can't have

stag night without weed, can we?

- Can't we?

- No!

It's just down here, anyway. Turn left.

DAVID:
Yester?

MIA:
Yester Grange.

Oldest house

in the Blue Mountains.

DAVID:
Wow.

Mum, Daph, meet David.

David, this is my adorable mum,

Barbara.

Welcome to the family, David.

(cries)

Um, Mum, he's British,

you're scaring him.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- Um, hi, I'm Daphne.

- Daph, my sister and my bestest mate.

Great to meet you.

- So where's...

DAPHNE:
The old crock?

My husband has been the only man

in this house for almost 25 years.

So, please, excuse his...

..enthusiasm.

- Right.

- Don't worry, he won't eat you.

Yeah, we fed him a big breakfast.

So, sweetheart,

ready to meet the senator?

Uh, yeah. Can't wait.

You're not seriously getting

out of the car, are you?

- Haven't you seen Wolf Creek?

- What?

It'll be fine.

- You coming, Luke?

- You go, just leave me here to die.

Luke, can you look after my bag, please?

It's got all my stuff in it.

After I've been raped and murdered

and out into small pieces, sure.

Wait! Wait!

Tom, can we get in and out as

quickly as possible, please?

He's a drug dealer, Graham.

Do you think we're gonna

stay for tea and cakes?

You're the one who brought

your overnight bag.

JIM:
I told the caterer, no

wheat, no dairy, no nuts,

no gluten, no seafood, no marzipan.

What's so hard about that?

BARBARA:
Jim!

- It's time.

JIM:
Well, well, well.

We meet at last.

The hero of Tuvalu.

MIA:
David, my dad, Jim Ramme.

JIM:
Hmm, I was expecting

a little more beef.

Dad... be supportive.

Yeah, I'd give him a minute before

you start busting his balls.

I see you've met Daphne.

There we were, hoping she'd

get married as well one day.

Turns out she's a lesbian.

David, you must be exhausted.

Would you like to freshen up?

Actually, that'd be...

He probably wants to get stuck into

the grand tour, don't you, Dave?

(Laughs) You know, it's been a really

long flight and everything so...

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