A Few Best Men Page #2

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Front bottom burps, noisy

flange, disgusting.

When you lose your parents young,

Tom,

you learn to roll the dice

when it's handed to you.

Oh, I've taken you to Blackpool,

brother, you're a terrible gambler.

- What exactly have I got to lose?

- Us!

Aww...

Couldn't lose you if you were

a suitcase at Terminal Five.

I'm just looking out for you, that's all.

I don't know this girl.

And neither do you.

DAVID:
Don't you believe

in love at first sight?

I just can't believe you're getting married.

It's just so grown-up

Every time I look at you,

I still see a little

eight-year-old waif in gym shorts.

That's a bit weird.

- Hi.

- Luke.

- How are you?

- Awful.

Sarah and Chip have

officially moved in together.

- I'm so sorry, mate.

- Yeah.

Well, maybe this trip will do you some good.

Maybe you'll get some distance.

- Maybe the plane will crash.

- Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry I'm late.

Picking up my new business

cards - going global.

Hitler's selling underfloor heating to Australians.

Oh, this is gonna be huge.

- Graham, what is that on your face?

- What?

That. That monstrosity.

- Oh, you mean the moustache?

- Yes, the moustache.

I'm about to meet my future family, I

can't have you turn up looking like a...

- Like a...

- Genocidal Fascist dictator.

What are you talking about? Moustaches

are really in at the moment.

- Not Hitler moustaches.

- Look, it's how my facial hair grows.

Alright? I can't help the

fact it looks like Hitler's.

Why are you being so negative,

anyway?

Why can't it be a Chaplin moustache?

- Sit down, you're in the way.

- Sorry.

- Jesus!

- Bloody Hitler.

Ruined this moustache for everyone.

Guys...

- We're going to Australia.

- Yeah, with 14 stopovers.

Yes, stewardess! A bottle of

your cheapest champagne, please!

Toast to my friend, David Locking!

Mr David Locking!

Jorge Buentiempo! (Speaks Spanish)

..754 miles, 8,754 miles.

Coconut Mist. Now available duty-free.

Coconut Mist.

I thought that was never gonna end.

It was worse than a jazz concert.

Really? I slept most of the way.

That's cause you weren't sitting

next to the droning clock.

I can't believe he's doing

the best man speech.

- I've have done much better.

- Thought I'd give him a boost.

- Something else to focus on.

- I'd have been f***in' hilarious.

- David Locking?

- Yes?

Come this way, please.

(Dog grunts)

- Take the bag.

- Why?

I've got something in it for David's stag do.

I don't want it searched.

- Absolutely not.

- Look at me, I'm sweaty.

I look guilty as hell. They won't

search you, you're too confident.

True and I'm still not taking it.

- Uh, have we done something wrong?

- Not at all, Mr Locking.

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