A Family Man Page #3

Well, Darrel,

I'm calling about your...

Who the hell is this?

Sumner, Sumner Firestone

from Blackridge Recruiting.

Spit it out, I'm a busy man!

Uh... Well, I've got

a guy, he's uh,

for your open engineering

position I mean,

he's got two degrees in

Mechanical Engineering,

experience reducing waste

in the plants.

Sounds stronger than puppy's

breath.

Now, when can he get down here?

- Well, he can be there Friday?

- You asking me or telling me?

I'm telling you.

He'll be there Friday.

Friday it is! By the by,

he wouldn't happen to have

one of those PhD's, would he?

As a matter of fact, he does.

Perfect! Better'n

a new set of snow tires!

Now, what's his name?

Mohammed Al Far...

Your sleepercell starter kits

are unemployable

south of the grit-line!

Alright. Cowboy up, sunshine.

Use this guy. Lou Wheeler.

Bachelor's

in Mechanical Engineering,

Six Sigma experience,

and an age-vague voice.

- "Age-vague"?

- Yeah. He's 59,

sounds like he's 39,

and refuses to change the dates

on his resume,

and is unemployable.

Why unemployable?

He's 59 and refuses to lie

about it. God, you and my wife.

Okay... So why do I want him?

Because we will

take 15 years off Lou's resume.

Right, but once he goes

in for the interview,

they'll just see how

old he is, I mean,

what's the point?

We don't send him

on an interview.

Lou's what you call

a Tracer Bullet.

A tracer bullet, you know?

A round that lights up so you

know where to fire...

the rest of the real bullets.

I know what a tracer bullet

is, I just don't understand...

"Relatively Young Lou"

is a sure-fire bet for a phone

interview, okay?

But once he's off the line

with a paying customer,

you bleed "Actually Old Lou"

for information.

Like, "What projects are they

working on?"

"What specifically

did they ask you?"

And you give that information...

to your placeable candidates

to prepare them.

I don't know...

We're headhunters, Sumner.

In an economic sh*t storm.

Now I can teach you

how to count cards,

but I can't make you do it.

So you either

reach deep inside

and find that small

dark part of yourself

that's predatory...

Or there's the door.

Alright.

Try giving yourself a desk name,

something tough, visual.

Watch Wall Street,

Godfathers 1 and 2, not 3.

Go on, get your phone,

listen in.

Bernadine?

Hey, it's Dane.

How are you, dear?

Is Lou around?

Lou!

Honey, Dane is on the phone!

Hi, Dane!

So, you hear anything

from Superior?

Are we gonna get

that face-to-face?

[Uh, I'm afraid not, Lou.

[Now I told them they were

making a big mistake, but...

I'm sorry, Lou,

I didn't get it done.

Don't blame yourself,

we'll get 'em next time.

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