A Damsel in Distress Page #3

Yes.

Then you were in London yesterday.

I'm appalled! I went there

to meet a man and Keggs followed.

I jumped into a cab to avoid him

and that's where he had a

struggle with the man in the cab.

You met your American!

I'd never seen the man before. It

just happened I got into his cab.

As if you'd get in a cab

with a stranger!

You're putting us off the scent!

From now on, you'll remain in the

grounds and be watched at all times.

Those are your father's orders.

Are they not, John?

I suppose.

Bah!

Good morning, children.

Hi, Jerry. Morning, Jerry.

Ah! Fan mail!

Yes. I'm through with that.

Now, listen, Jerry.

You can't quit even temporarily.

I am going to hide

away in the country

where no-one has heard of

Halliday the butterfly man,

beneath whose feet women's hearts

are crushed

as grapes in a wine press.

You wrote that.

Isn't this CUTE?!

"And if you come then,

no-one will suspect your presence.

"I love you, Alyce M."

Ha, ha, ha!

That's the girl in the cab.

What cab? She was in trouble.

Tottney Castle.

I wonder where that place is.

It's got a coat of arms -

a bona fide castle.

Oh,

that's where Napoleon came from.

Napoleon?

Yes, Napoleon BonaFIDE.

Father backed your first show,

remember? Yeah. Yeah.

Here it is. "Tottley Castle.

Present owner is Lord Marshmoreton,

"his sister Lady Caroline

and daughter Lady Alyce.

"Since the 1400s, Tottley

has been the seat of the Earl..."

Oh, George, you must lose that

Brooklyn accent. You mean "oil".

I mean "earl". Oil and earl

are two different things.

Your daddy

doesn't go to bed oily, does he?

He did when he worked

for the gas station.

Listen, Gracie.

In England there are several titles

for the nobility -

lords, dukes, earls...

Oh, that's my daddy!

If he ever gets his dukes on the

Earl Company's money, Lord help 'em!

I made that up myself. You did?

Yeah!

Where's the car? Downstairs.

Say, have you any idea what

a publicity story this will make?

Can't you see the headlines? Pretty

peeress putty in Halliday's hands.

"I love you, Alyce M."

I mean, it's incredible. How can she

say that when she doesn't know me!

Everybody reads my stuff.

Thursday is visitors' day.

What's today?

I don't know.

You can tell if you look

at that newspaper on your desk.

Oh, this is no help, George.

It's yesterday's paper.

Her father... Backed my first show.

Yes.

REGGIE PLAYS A GENTLE, SOMBRE TUNE

Hurry, Thomas. Yes, Mr Keggs.

They'll be here any moment. We

shall be over-run by proletariats.

Yes, Mr Keggs.

Why they would pay a shilling

to be led about like dumb animals

gaping into the interiors of their

betters, I'll never understand.

It makes them feel envious of us.

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