A Christmas Story 2 Page #2

---

Huh? Boom!

The old man lived for

the thrill of the hunt.

And there was no one he loved having

in his sights more than Hank Catenhauser.

I had been going with him

to Hank's World of Wheels...

...for as long as I could remember.

Hank drove an ambulance in World War I.

Legend had it he backed over a land mine...

...and still had a piece of shrapnel

the size of a walnut lodged in his brain.

Good to see you!

Hank liked to tell his customers it was

the part of the brain that made deals.

I like you, Parker.

You're an Oldsmobile man.

- Guilty as charged.

- Well, it's a fine automobile.

But you can't drive a great car

till you drive...

- ...a great bargain.

- That's true.

- I got two words for you.

- Olds 88.

- Actually, that's a word and a number.

- Ha! You slay me.

- He's a card. Let's take a sneak peek.

- All right.

Unbeknownst to Hank, my father

and I had perfected a routine...

...carefully orchestrated,

to augment our bargaining power.

Push button radio, white wall tires.

Automatic choke.

Well, why don't you

hop in the back there, sonny?

Just wanna see if that seat's roomy enough

for you and your brother.

Sure thing, Dad.

Hm.

So how is it back there?

Uh, it's okay. I mean...

Ah. A little tight.

Ah, tight. He says it's tight back there.

These kids, they grow like weeds.

Heh. It's certainly a factor.

Well, I guess I'm gonna have to give you...

- ...a heck of a price on it, won't I?

- Well, how about that?

Oh, there she was.

In all her gleaming, second-hand glory.

A 1939 Mercury Model-Eight Convertible.

The top was frayed,

the tires were almost shot.

As if any of this mattered.

For I was in the presence

of the greatest machine...

...ever to glide off an assembly line.

The apex of automobilia.

Holy jeez.

Phase two of the old man's scheme

was always the same.

He'd tell Hank it was time

to go home and think it over...

...let him sweat for a week or two.

And then, like jaguars

circling their hapless prey...

...we'd close in for the kill.

He's over-barrel this time, Ralphie boy.

We got him good.

Oh, you bet, Dad.

The Parker boys strike again.

Hey, you know what they say:

The acorn doesn't fall

far from the tree. Huh?

Huh?

Oh, the old man

was a veritable clich repository...

...never hesitating to haul out

one of life's tired truisms...

...for our edification.

You know what they say:

If you don't ask, you don't dance.

You know what they say:

Every dog has his day.

You know what they say:

If anything can go wrong, it will.

And one that I begged to differ with:

Lightning never strikes

the same place twice.

Fortunately, I had

the advantage of experience.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes