A Charlie Brown Christmas Page #2

If I spread my hands apart,

it means slow down.

It's the spirit of the actors that counts,

the interest that they show in their director.

Am I right? I said, am I right?

[PLAYING VINCE GUARALDI'S

"LINUS & LUCY"]

Stop the music! All right, now.

We're going to do this play

and we're going to do it right.

Lucy, get those costumes and scripts

and pass them out.

Now, the script girl

will be handing out your parts.

You're the innkeeper's wife.

Do innkeepers' wives

have naturally curly hair?

Pigpen, you're the innkeeper.

In spite of my outward appearance,

I shall try to run a neat inn.

Shermy, you're a shepherd.

Every Christmas it's the same.

I always end up playing a shepherd.

Snoopy, you'll have to be all the animals

in our play.

-Can you be a sheep?

-Baa.

-How about a cow?

-Moo.

How about a penguin?

-Yes, he's even a good penguin.

-Ooow!

No, no, no.

Listen, all of you.

You've got to take direction.

[LUCY SPEAKING AND SNOOPY MOUTHING]

You've got to have discipline.

You've gotta have respect

for your director.

I ought to slug you.

Ugh. I've been kissed by a dog.

I have dog germs.

Get hot water,

get some disinfectant, get some iodine.

-Waaah.

-Ah.

All right, all right, script girl,

continue with the scripts.

Linus, you've got to get rid

of that stupid blanket.

And here, memorize these lines.

I can't memorize these lines.

This is ridiculous.

Memorize it and be ready to recite

when your cue comes.

I can't memorize something like this

so quickly.

Why should I be put through such agony?

Give me one good reason

why I should memorize this.

I'll give you five good reasons:

One, two, three, four, five.

Those are good reasons.

Christmas is not only

getting too commercial...

...it's getting too dangerous.

And get rid of that stupid blanket.

What's a Christmas shepherd

gonna look like...

...holding a stupid blanket like that?

Well, this is one Christmas shepherd...

...who's going to keep his trusty blanket

with him.

See? You wouldn't hit

an innocent shepherd, would you?

Okay, Mr. Director, the cast is set.

Take over.

All right, let's have it quiet.

Places, everybody.

Schroeder, set the mood for first scene.

[PLAYING VINCE GUARALDIS

"LINUS & LUCY"]

Cut, cut. No, no, no.

Look, let's rehearse the scene at the inn.

-Frieda, this is--

-We can't go on. There's too much dust.

It's taking the curl

out of my naturally curly hair.

Don't think of it as dust.

Think of it as maybe the soil

of some great past civilization.

Maybe the soil of ancient Babylon.

It staggers the imagination.

He may be carrying soil

that was trod upon by Solomon.

Or even Nebuchadnezzar.

It sort of makes you wanna treat me

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