A Birder's Guide to Everything Page #3

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that I rediscovered an extinct duck,

she'd definitely

let me do her.

Possibly doggie-style.

It's called retrocopulation.

And the term "doggie-style" is offensive

to women and possibly dogs as well.

Guys, you're both missing the point.

What do you think?

It has to be female,

not a male.

The wing marks concern me, but to be

fair, wing marks always concern me.

"B" teams,

incendere ubi paratus!

Cool!

[ Applause ]

How does that work?

Okay, we need to

find this duck again.

What we need

is an expert opinion.

Well, uh... I can get us a meeting

with Lawrence Konrad.

Just because he said you had

"nice style" at a book signing?

Um, he said I had

"interesting style."

And yes, that's exactly why.

Dick.

[ Chattering ]

Hello?

He's too busy.

I told you this. -Hello?

What? Oh, sorry

to keep you waiting.

My secretary is at lunch,

and this thing should've-- [ Chirping ]

There you go.

Anyone? -Uh, yellow warbler.

Bravo.

Do come in.

Nope.

[ Chuckles ]

No, no, no, no.

That's all wrong.

Yeah, well,

it does decline at the nape.

- Which one of you saw it?

- Uh, I did.

I'm sorry the picture

is so blurry.

I was on my bike

when I spotted it.

On your bike?

[ Laughing ]

That's marvelous.

That's the great thing

about this field.

Doesn't matter if you're a

high school kid on your bike or...

An old egghead like me

with a boatload of silly degrees.

Absolutely anyone

can be a birder.

Except for blind people,

I suppose.

So you think it could actually be

a rare-- -Close the door, please.

Any of you familiar with

the term "lazarus species"?

You. Glasses.

An organism rediscovered alive

after having been considered extinct.

And while lazarus species

are very rare,

here in America I had the pleasure

of being amongst those...

who re-found

the ivory-billed woodpecker in 2005.

Though certain scientists

do dispute my claim.

Fools.

February 20, 2005.

I remember because

it was three weeks...

after my life magellanic

woodpecker in Chile.

Quite a month

for campephilus.

You remember all the dates

on your life list?

Now, on, uh, May 13th

of this year,

you might--

[ Chuckles ]

I do stress might--

have spotted--

- Yes!

- Camptorhynchus Labradorius.

Mm-hmm. -The first bird

to go extinct in north America.

No one has seen

one of these fellas since 1878.

So do you really think

that David saw a labrador duck?

Of course the photo is

too blurry to prove anything,

and it's certainly

out of consideration for publication.

Trust me, what birder's way

does not need is more controversy.

[ Sniffing ] No, I think the only thing

to do here...

Is to find the bird again.

Well, it's probably migrating.

It could be anywhere.

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