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No!

I can't say,

"Baby, your smell

slightly offends me"?

No.

Okay.

I'm not even allowed

to be offended then.

She can be offended

by things I say, things I do,

but me, I can't.

There's no going back

after that.

You know, I just don't

understand how this is my fault.

You know, nobody should ever

have to tell you

to wipe your butt.

Jamal...

No, I'm serious, man.

It's the first thing

that happens to you in life.

Your mama feeds you

and then she wipes your butt.

Yeah, man, but sometimes

it doesn't matter how much

a woman takes a shower.

It's genetic.

Well, if it's genetic,

her mama need to put her up.

I'm serious, man. Pass her down

some herbs or something.

Or tell her about

the family secret.

Man, quit laughing, man.

This ain't funny.

I needed you two hours ago.

Oh, man. I was...

I was having my own drama.

What, with Shanice?

Yeah, man.

It's over.

Yeah, it's over.

It's hitting me a little harder

than I expected, too.

I'm sorry, man.

She was a good girl, man,

but not without her issues.

Trying to be all

Kerry Washington and everything

at age 30.

She needs to be trying

to hold down a job, man.

It's hard out here.

That was my point.

But the woman is holding on

to the pipe dream

with a kung fu grip.

You a good guy, though.

I told you about messing

with them actresses.

There's only one exception,

and that's Halle Berry.

She patient like that.

Try to do the right thing.

Get married, settle down.

Come on, man.

These women can't cook.

They can't clean. They try way

too hard to be a man.

Man, that's what

I'm talking about, man.

I mean, look, check this out.

Corporate America is filled

with almost 10 times more black

female executives than men.

That's true.

I mean, look at them.

"I'm having power lunches."

"I'm taking meetings."

Do you know that Shanice

had the audacity to tell me

that she wouldn't

drive a minivan

if we got married and had kids?

What's she going to drive then?

Told me I can drive.

A shame.

A damn shame.

You know what it is?

It's demonic.

The boy toys, the boy shorts.

What are those, anyway?

It's like these women

want exactly that:

A human-sized toy.

That pays the bills.

Man, you know what I should do?

I know what you should do.

You should get the biggest,

baddest piece of arm candy

you can, dawg,

and just call it a day.

I'm telling you, just...

You're too high-strung.

Just, you know, just date.

Have some fun.

No, no, no.

See, that's too simple, man.

Yeah, yeah, I set my goals

too short

and my eyes too small.

I'm missing vision.

Vision. Okay.

Creativity.

Creativity.

Aggression.

I like aggression.

It's going to be a fever pitch.

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