40 Days and 40 Nights Page #2

-You know Tatiana?

-Yeah, l know Tatiana. She's nice.

She's not nice, she's hot. I'd hit that.

BAGEL GUY:
And how about Merj?

MATT:
Yeah, l know Merj.

What about that really hot chick

that got engaged? That was funny.

What really hot chick?

What really hot chick got engaged?

The expediter chick. You know, real slinky.

-What's her name?

-Nicole?

That's it. She knows the guy for two weeks.

She goes to France...

...she comes back, she's engaged.

She is spontaneous-combustion hot.

I would definitely hit that.

(Loud sound of clattering)

How do you know it's Nicole

that got engaged?

That's what the banner said at the party.

"Congratulations Nicole."

I can't believe it.

You can't even look right at her.

She's so hot, you need one of those

cardboard eclipse-watching things...

...just to look directly at her.

She's radiantly hot.

It makes me just want to throw her down and....

You know what l mean?

I'm glad we can connect on that.

BAGEL GUY:
Later, pimp.

CHRIS:
Later.

(Rhythmic instrumental music)

NICK:
Hey, Matt.

You all right?

(Slow instrumental music)

GIRL:
Oh, God. I am so sorry.

MATT:
lt's okay. It's okay.

GIRL:
Are you okay?

MATT:
Yeah, l'm fine.

Is there anything l can do

to make it better?

Anything?

Again?

Another girl already?

JOHN:
lt's not even the weekend.

MATT:
l know, l know.

She met someone. Nicole's getting married.

I'm sorry.

I mean, what can l do?

-Tell me what l can do.

-I don't know what to tell you.

This isn't really a problem l know much about.

Listen, isn't part of the priestly thing

giving relationship advice?

Relationship advice, yes. Sex advice, no.

Part of the "priestly thing," and stop

calling it that, is not to have sex. Remember?

-I didn't say a thing about sex.

-Sure you did.

No, l didn't.

I guess thinking about sex

is part of the priestly thing.

-At least for some.

-Get out.

Fine.

FATHER MAHER:
Good morning, Matt.

MATT:
'Morning, Father.

-What's with the purple banners?

-Lent starts today.

It'll be a long 40 days this year.

I'm giving up my one vice.

Those precious little madeleine cookies

dipped in a Starbucks' Mocha.

It's so hard giving up what you love the most.

I've got it! Jesus Christ, l've got an answer.

-And the question is?

-Nicole.

Again?

No sex for Lent. For 40 days.

If l can do that, it'll all be okay.

That isn't what Lent is.

Lent is about sacrifice

and growth through self-denial.

-Lent is to remember--

-How Christ felt during the fast in the desert.

I grew up in the same house as you, moron.

When it comes down to it, that's what this is.

This is growth. This is self-denial.

This is sacrifice.

Dude!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes