31 Page #2

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see I'm busy back here?

Oh, sh*t, that's a lot of woman.

Yeah, what you want that's so important

you got to crash my love den?

You're going to give

that man a heart attack.

Tell it again, I don't get it.

Who had the cake?

Oh, Christ, b*tch,

pay attention this time.

There was a boy, named Harold.

Walked in on his

grandparents having sex.

Pretty much like this a**hole

don' walked in on me.

Harold said, "grandma!

Whatcha' doing?"

Grandma say,

"well, we bakin' a cake.

A few days later, Harold say, "grandma, was

you and grandpa baking a cake last night?

Grandma says, "matter of fact,

we was. How'd you know?"

Harold say, "because I just licked

some frosting off the couch."

I still don't get it.

What frosting?

Where'd it come from?

The old man's dick!

The old bastard's jizz

was the frosting.

Oh...

Hello Congo,

oh how I missed you.

Oh, come on, Roscoe,

go get your ass out of here.

- Oh, sh*t.

- I'll get out in a second. What do you think?

- I think it's cute.

- It isn't cute.

So do I.

Roscoe get on, get your ass out

of here, you gotta go, now, man!

- Go on, man! God damn.

- Pull away that thing, oh.

- Come here.

Hey, see?

It still looks boss. Okay?

- Okay I'll think about it.

- I just have to clean it up a little.

I'll think about it, king dong,

I'll think about it.

Hey, oldie!

Got any gas today?

It's a cocksucking

gas station isn't it?

All right then, fill up

this big b*tch pronto.

Any of you dumb c*nts in that

ridiculous machine know how to read?

Or are you still

using sign language?

Hey old man, I know how to read.

Then read it and weep, genius.

Back side.

Got a whole lot of lazy eff-ers

here in this world, man.

Hi.

You diggin' what you see, pops?

I reckon I do.

Ooh.

You can call me Leo.

Lucky Leo, if you

know what I mean.

Oh really? Do you feel lucky?

I got a mattress out back and a

couple of jugs of gut-burner.

- Hah!

Trust me, Leo.

Your prehistoric ticker couldn't

survive the ride. Ha ha ha.

- Whoo!

- Charly...

Stop f***ing with the locals.

Gimme a break.

I'm just making friends.

You want to be my friend,

don't you, Leo?

You know I do.

See? Just making friends.

You've had enough friends

for a lifetime.

Nice puppets, Leo.

You play with that stuff?

I bet you do.

The good lord pray me

for every day,

he want me to leave

a righteous way.

So I don't care what

the white man say.

Santa Claus is a black man.

You know, I'm thinking man,

when we get ourself a break

we need to check out the sound

system in the carousel.

Man, them speakers, man,

they shot up to sh*t.

Seriously though, it looks like

I'm losing my sh*t,

I don't normally have

this much forehead.

Rate this script:3.8 / 4 votes