27 Dresses Page #2

All right. Nice and easy.

Let's walk.

# That I'm irresponsibly mad #

#For you ##

I loved your thong,

by the way.

You buzzed past me earlier.

I saw you changing gowns.

You were in two weddings

in one night, weren't you?

- That's a little upsetting, don't you think?

- They're both good friends...

and their weddings happened to be on

the same night, so what was I supposed to do?

Oh, no. That's not the upsetting part.

How do you stand it?

- I mean, isn't one wedding bad enough?

- I love weddings. I always have.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Which part, the forced merriment,

horrible music or bad food?

Actually, it's meeting

upbeat people like yourself.

Love is patient. Love is kind.

Love means slowly losing your mind.

- What is it you do again?

- I'm a writer.

Right.

- This is my building.

- I got it.

- No. I got it.

- Sure?

Yeah.

All right, sweetie. A hundred and forty.

You know what you did.

Hey! What's-- No.

He's gonna be right back. Hold on.

Don't you think it's a whole lot of ritual

for something that--

Let's face it-- It's got about a 50-50 shot

of making it out of the gate.

How very refreshing.

A man who doesn't believe in marriage.

- I'm just trying to point out

the hypocrisy of the spectacle.

- Oh.

That's so noble of you.

Do you also go around...

telling small children

that Santa Claus doesn't exist?

'Cause someone needs

to blow that sh*t wide open.

So you admit that believing in marriage

is kind of like believing in Santa Claus.

No. I--

I don't know why I'm arguing

this with a perfect stranger.

But, yes, marriage, like everything good

and important, isn't easy.

Cynicism, on the other hand,

always is.

- It was very interesting meeting you.

- Bye.

Yeah.

You gonna be in more

weddings next weekend?

- I have to go.

- How many have you been in, by the way?

- Just, like, ballpark.

- Good night.

- Hey, you know what? Could you--

- Yeah?

- Forget it.

- Yup.

Okay.

Death. Destruction.

Wedding vows. Yea.

Come to mama.

Oh.

Jeter hit a walk-off

in the ninth. Did you see it?

Uh, no. I work

Saturday nights, remember?

- Here. From the happy couple.

- Oh, that's right.

You were eating coconut cake

and doing the Electric Slide.

- So how'd it go?

- Oh, let's see.

The bride wore a gown that sparkled

like the groom's eyes...

as he saw her approaching

through a shower of rose petals.

And you're not

getting laid?

Commitments is the gold standard

of wedding announcements.

Every girl on the planet rips open that page,

first thing Sunday.

Brides kill to get in there.

Do you have any idea

what you can be doin'?

- You mean to women who are

about to get married?

- Yeah.

They won't call you.

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