21 & Over Page #2
to get you this interview.
Be rested, be sharp,
do not embarrass me.
I won't.
Dick wads.
Look, it was so nice
of you guys to surprise me,
but, listen, I can't
go out tonight, OK?
This is like my whole life
in one interview.
- Dude, I totally get it.
- That's funny 'cause I don't.
- I don't totally get it.
- Could we go out tomorrow night?
No, we cannot go out tomorrow night,
because I've got tickets to Soundgarden.
You're a straight-A student,
dude. You can go out one night.
He can't go out, dude.
Casey, first of all,
you need to shut the f*** up.
- And JeffChang, you need to sit down.
- No.
Come on, just take a seat,
please, on your nice futon.
Because you have the wrong
attitude right now, my friend.
Look, JeffChang,
this isn't just any birthday.
OK? This is your 21st birthday.
- Here we go.
- This is the day that you become a man.
This is the day that you get to tell
every bouncer who's ever carded you,
"You know what? Sure, I get it.
Yes, I look like
a nine-year-old Chinese girl."
- What the f***?
- "But guess what?
Today is my 21st
f***ing birthday."
So, step aside
and let the man come through.
Miller, I totally get it,
but I can't go out tonight.
It's actually not your fault.
It's your people's fault.
Your people haven't been in this
country for a very "rong" time.
- What? He's more American than you.
- My family built the railroads.
Yeah, but, well, you know what
I mean. Like, your people.
- What? What?
- China. I don't know. Are you Chinese?
- Listen, the point is...
- I understand what you're saying,
- but I can't...
In America,
in the United States of America,
bald eagles and Budweiser,
you go out and drink because
it's a sacred rite of passage.
- It's just like in Africa when...
- Oh, my God.
If we were in Africa... You are
so lucky we're not in Africa.
If we were in Africa, you would
have to leave the village
- and not come back till you killed a bear.
- None of that is true.
- There's no bears in Africa? Really?
- No.
- You have to read a book.
You're 21 years old.
This, as they say in Casey's
home country, is a bar mitzvah.
- It's the American bar mitzvah.
- I was born in America.
It's like... OK, it's like when an
Eskimo kills his first penguin, right?
- Nope, they definitely don't do that.
- Yes, they f***ing do, Casey.
- I hate you.
- In this country, JeffChang,
your best friends take you out
and they f*** you with alcohol.
- I'm gonna f*** you with alcohol.
- Oh, my God.
- Now who's with me?
- Nope.
- Come on, f***ers!
- Uh-uh.
- Mm-mm.
Whatever. I'm f***ing taking you out
whether you want to or not! I don't care
if you're scared of your f***ing dad.
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"21 & Over" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/21_%2526_over_1638>.
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