10 Items or Less

Sorry. What was your name again?

Packy.

Packy?

Yeah.

Are we lost, Packy?

Damn it! Damn it!

I had this nailed before.

I swear. Dude, we're gonna find it.

Don't worry about it.

So you're driving for the picture?

Donny's my cousin.

You know, Donny?

Ah, yeah.

I'm kinda like the all-purpose

kind of guy.

Your cousin?

Yeah.

And this is his first picture.

Yeah, you know.

I guess that thing we did

in Bartoli's back yard doesn't count.

This is like his first film. Movie.

Is he good with actors?

Does he like actors?

Uh--

You're kinda like the first actor

I've ever met, so--

But I know he's f***ing

so psyched that you're doing this.

You're playing the store manager.

Well, now, I haven't committed yet.

This is just research, you know?

Just take a look at the location.

Research, get a feel for the character.

So, Donny says you haven't

worked in, like, four years

or something like that.

Well, not four.

It's a long f***ing time, right?

Well, I mean, you know,

I've had--

It's not like I haven't had offers.

So you're back!

You're f***in' back in business.

How does it feel?

Well, I wouldn't exactly

call this "back."

Not "back" back, you know?

Not like "comeback" back.

Just a little independent thing.

Oh.

Nicely under the radar.

I mean, if it flies, fine.

And if it doesn't,

it won't even count.

It's like a blow job.

Yeah. Like a cinematic blow job.

No sh*t.

All right, this is so--

This is so f***ing uncool, I know.

But I'm driving, so f*** it.

I mean-- Hey, would you mind

just doin' a little bit for me?

Any part. Any part is fine.

I have no idea

what you're talking about.

The thing--

The book on tape?

You did this so well.

Come on. Any part.

Anything, really.

Uh, no, no, no.

Chapter four.

Wait, wait.

Her ivory hand grasped firmly,

the door swung open

with the hush of luxury.

And there--

I never did a book on tape.

Here you go!

Her brim swept up,

her eyes filled with the glory,

the spectacle that was Titanic.

Man.

It's not me.

Modest motherf***er.

I'm telling you, it's not me.

The soles of his leather--

Of course it's you.

What else you been doin'

for the past four years?

That's not me, man.

All right, first of all--

I would never--

I would never go that way.

I would never choose those rhythms.

You know what I'm saying?

You get a scene like that,

you don't drop into those rhythms.

You don't play the obvious.

You always go under.

Run it by me again.

You want to play it again?

Yeah.

Her brim swept up,

and her eyes filled--

No, see, he's all

caught up in his reading.

He's totally disconnected.

I wouldn't-- I wouldn't have a--

"Earth received her step.

"Brim up,

"her eyes encompassed the glory,

the spectacle, that was Titanic."

Oh, my God! What?

So. This is--

Ground Zero.

You gonna remember how we got here?

Yeah, I'm down with the map,

so it's no big deal.

So, how do you wanna--

How do you want to handle this?

Sneak me in

through the back, maybe?

For what?

This is fine.

So, how long do you need?

You don't stay?

No, I run.

Frickin' Porta Potties in Brea,

wherever the heck that is.

You remember which way we--

No, I'm f***in' with you, man.

I'm just-- It's a joke.

All right.

An hour or so should do it.

Okay.

Now, you will be coming back?

Yeah. Hey, good field trip, all right?

And man, seriously--

Put it back.

Yes, you. Put it back.

You're not gonna take it.

You never do.

Stop squeezing the sh*t out of it

and put it back.

I'm watching you, cabrn.

You gonna pick it or do I?

Your mama didn't teach you how to count?

Let's go.

Fine. More for me.

Lee.

Come on.

$16.60.

Get a milk.

Vamos.

Oh. Oh. Sh*t.

Lee!

Can you not do that?

Sorry. I was just--

Watching, I know.

I saw you come in.

Is this bothering you?

I mean, am I bothering you standing here?

You are three feet from my face.

Sorry.

Well, where should I--

$24.50. No receipt.

Oh.

Give me that.

How do you do that?

The numbers?

How do you--

You know before they even--

I'm terrible with numbers.

You got prices, you got totals.

How many can there be?

Do you have to train for that?

I mean, to remember all that?

Some special training?

Yeah. Right.

I'm too A.D.D.

I could never--

So you--

You really anticipate, right?

Oh, I mean, you're good.

You're really good.

Wow.

Does the manager

have to be that good?

I mean, with the numbers?

What about the other one?

She that good?

I mean, she's not

pulling in the customers.

Why, no. Not while she sits on her ass!

But then, I guess you don't have to

work if you're f***ing the manager!

Kiss it.

B*tch.

That puta gets the gold lane

and does sh*t,

and I carry the floor.

You tell me how smart I am.

I wasn't aware there

were lane distinctions.

You are looking at them.

Ten items or less.

You been standing there.

You see one jerk not try

to push the count, huh?

Always a fight.

So, this is the less desirable lane.

This? This is where

checkers come to die.

Look at this. Look at--

Even the register sucks.

In Italy, they give long receipts

to pretty woman as a come-on.

Toll-takers on the highway.

Sort of a projection of length,

if you know what I mean.

Why are you here?

I was hopin' to see the manager.

But I guess he's not here.

I don't know.

Why don't you ask her?

No, no. It's okay.

It's cool.

What did you want with him?

I'm just doing a little research.

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