$elfie Shootout Page #2

---

that can come and come.

There's a problem going on here.

There was you in the email,

and then there's...

You in person.

Why talk about such

meaningless things, chub?

Why?

I want you to enjoy me.

Okay.

But first...

We must make

the normal arrangements.

- Arrangements?

- Yes.

I must hear your specific needs

so I can give you a fair price.

I don't get it.

You know,

it's like buying a car.

You want automatic transmission?

It costs more.

You want big strong engine?

It's more.

It's only fair.

Now, tell me.

- Uh-oh.

- I give...

It's my father.

I got to...

He just calls

and he has no respect at all.

At such important moments

like this?

So you ran out of beer,

and stuffed peppers

and some lasagna.

The teeny tiny little burnt...

Yeah, I know.

Okay.

Mm.

Man, I got some

really, really bad,

- out of the blue news.

- What is that, my chub?

My dad, he needs a few things

from the grocery store

and he's not good at waiting,

so I'm just gonna...

- I'm gonna...

- No...

- No, I'm gonna go.

- No! Wait.

There's time for quickie.

Whew! No. No, no, no.

No quickie.

I'm good.

- But...

- Nothing else to be said.

- No.

- It's great.

Hello!

My I help you?

Probably.

Anything.

Let your imagination

run wild, my dear...

Your name?

Bone.

How appropriate.

I hate my life.

What? Why?

What... what are we doing?

We're not guys anymore.

We are in the last stages

of being just guys.

- What?

- Are you listening to me?

We are not guys anymore!

We have no money.

We got crappy jobs,

no girlfriends.

I'm living with my dad,

and you, you're...

You're hooking up with a

50-year-old Russian ex-sailor

and liking it.

Hey, it could be worse.

- How?

- We could be older.

We will be... soon.

And then what?

Well, then it will just be

the same as now, but then.

That's the problem.

Now becomes then.

Wait a minute.

If all of these babes

post selfies free...

And they do!

They would definitely

do it for money.

- What do you mean? -We are

gonna run a selfie contest

with a gigantic mega prize.

Best selfie, as judged

by us, wins $500.

No, no. We're gonna...

We're gonna make it $1,000.

That's stupid.

We don't have $1,000.

See? That is where

my genius kicks in!

We are gonna charge them $15

to submit their selfie.

To win the thousand dollars?

Bingo! And as we rack up

the selfies at $15 per,

we will rake in

the customized selfies!

- Do you get it?

- Yeah.

And then all the $15

become the $1,000

grand prize, right?

Double bingo! See?

Here is where

my genius really kicks in!

Once we make more than $1,000,

we're gonna be in the black...

Or the red,

depending on how you look at it.

And we're gonna get

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes