Sperm Bank

Asking price: $1,000 - $10,000
Genre: Comedy

Larry David

Opening Scene—Richard and Larry are getting ready to go to the Bar Mitzva of a friend’s son. They have worked many times with Laura over the years, but met her son once when he was a baby. The men begin to reminisce about their own Bar Mitzvas and how they would have loved to have had a son to celebrate his. At this point, Richard brings up his suggestion many years ago for Larry to donate to a sperm bank because Cheryl couldn’t have children and Richard thought Larry’s genius should be kept alive some day.

Flashback -A much younger Larry and Richard are talking about how Larry should continue his great writing genes by donating to a sperm bank. Larry is very reluctant at first. Richard assures him he will drive him there and wait for him. Sheepishly, Larry agrees.

While doing the paper work at the clinic, Larry eyes over other prospective donors as they walk in. One man is carrying a sheet. Another one holds a picture of his mother. A third is wearing gloves, mask and carrying condoms, and a fourth is toting a whip and handcuffs. Larry becomes concerned, but goes through with the donation. Richard said he would wait for Larry in the car.

Back at the Temple Larry and Richard are sitting with the congregation awaiting the service to begin. The Rabbi comes up and begins the service. Everyone is silent. Next, walking up to the Bema, is the Bar Mitzva Boy, walking with his back to the audience. As he approaches the podium he slowly turns around. To Larry’s shock, the boy is a clone of Richard. Larry’s eyes bulge out as he whispers to Richard, “You said you waited in the car.”

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Contact Author

Natalie Schwartz

I am a recently retired Fourth Grade teacher. Beside having spent many years teaching piano, I have written Jewish Fairy Tale parodies and many other humorous stories, including funny annual songs for my school district's retirees. I have shared my humor on Facebook many times. By the way, my birthday is July 8,1947-----Very close to that of both Larry David and Richard Lewis. You never know-Thank you 

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    "Sperm Bank" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 15 May 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script-for-sale/sperm_bank_108>.

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