Wild Hogs script
Wild Hogs (2007)
Synopsis: Tired of their humdrum lives, some middle-aged friends (Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence) decide to temporarily ditch their responsibilities and take a motorcycle trip. The freedom of the open road holds many surprises for the group, including an encounter with the Del Fuegos, a hardcore gang, who take a dim view of the novice bikers.

FADE IN:

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

ANGLE ON:
BILLY MATTHEWS, 8, ravenously eating a plate

of hashbrowns, runny fried eggs and syrupy waffles.

WOMAN'S VOICE (O.C.)

Doug?...

We see DOUG MATTHEWS, 40's, sitting across the table,

staring at his son, Billy. Doug is handsome in that

honest, sincere way. A guy you would call to help you

move a couch. He watches Billy scoop up his hashbrowns

with a frosted pop-tart. Billy catches his Dad's look

and grins with his mouth full. Doug smiles back, then

looks down at his own plate. He has scrambled egg whites

and sliced tomatoes. His smile fades away.

WOMAN'S VOICE (O.C.) (CONT'D)

Doug?

Doug snaps out of it and looks up at his wife, KELLY

MATTHEWS. She's attractive, with a patient smile.

KELLY:

I've got some stuff to do for the party

tomorrow. Can you take Billy to school?

DOUG:

What "stuff"? This party isn't going to

be fancy, is it? Just some friends and a

wing platter from Costco?

KELLY:

It's a our 10th anniversary, Doug. Its

going to be a nice party with nice food

and nice music. And wings have carbs, so

you can't eat them anyway.

BILLY:

(MOUTH FULL)

I'll eat 'em.

Doug gives Billy a look.

DOUG:

No you won't. Because I'm going to

scrape the batter off.

BILLY:

That doesn't work.

"Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 2.

DOUG:

I went to medical school. You think I

don't know how carbs work?

BILLY:

Dentists go to medical school?

Doug looks a little insulted.

KELLY:

Doug, can you take Billy or not?

DOUG:

Yeah, I can take him. There aren't any

emergencies at the office this morning.

KELLY:

You have emergencies?

DOUG:

(INDIGNANT)

Yes, I have emergencies. That's what my

pager is for. one beep from that thing,

and bam. I'm off. Like a cheetah.

Billy, now pouring lucky charms into a bowl, looks up.

BILLY:

(MOUTH FULL)

The battery ith gone in that thing. You

took them out for the TV clicker.

Doug gives Billy a look.

DOUG:

I did do that. I forgot about that. I

need to get some batteries in there.

Because dentists do have emergencies. We

are doctors, you know? We take the same

oath. The oath of saving lives.

Doug goes to take some of Billy's discarded Lucky Charms.

Billy swats his hand away.

BILLY:

(MOUTH FULL)

Uh uh. Carbth.

Doug nods, defeated, as Billy hops up and dumps the

remaining lucky charms in the trash.

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Brad Copeland

Brad Copeland is an American television writer and producer, best known for his work on the Fox TV series Arrested Development. more…

All Brad Copeland scripts | Brad Copeland Books

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"Wild Hogs" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 22 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/wild_hogs_1075>.

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