Tin Men script
Tin Men (1987)
Synopsis: Door-to-door aluminum-siding salesmen Bill "B.B." Babowsky (Richard Dreyfuss) and Ernest Tilley (Danny DeVito) are professional rivals in an industry known for shady dealings and high-pressure sales. But their rivalry goes from professional to personal after a minor car accident that neither are willing to take the blame for. As the hatred between the two men grows to near insane levels, B.B. decides to take it even further by seducing and having an affair with Tilley's wife (Barbara Hershey).

FADE IN:

1 EXT. CADILLAC DEALERSHIP - DAY 1

BILL BABOWSKY ("BB"), a wiry, dapper-looking man in hismid-thirties, is circling a baby blue Cadillac. A

SALESMAN follows on his heels.

SALESMAN:

She's a beauty.

BB:

(looking at Salesman)

Who?

What?

SALESMAN:

BB:

Who's the beauty?

SALESMAN:

The car.

BB:

I thought maybe you saw some chickwalking by. I lost my concentration.

Why do they call cars 'she'? Theynever say 'he'... always 'she.'

The Salesman shrugs his shoulders. BB walks around the

Cadillac.

BB:

Very nice... very nice.

CUT TO:

2 EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - LINE OF ROW HOUSES - DAY 2

We hear YELLING.

3 INT. ROW HOUSE - DAY 3

NORA, a rather plain, but attractive woman in her early30's, is yelling up the stairs.

NORA:

You're a sick man! Sick! Do yahear me?! Do ya hear me?!

(CONTINUED)

2.

3 CONTINUED:
3

Peeking around the bannister from the second floor isERNEST TILLEY, also in his 30's, handsome in a boyish

way.

Who's sick?

TILLEY:

NORA:

Who do ya think I'm screaming at?

How many of you are there up there?

There's only you, and you're a sickhuman being.

TILLEY:

(quietly, comingdown a few steps)

Where's my white on white shirt?

The nice one, you know.

NORA:

It's like yelling through a wall

to you. I'm carrying on aboutwhat a disgusting human being youare, and all you want to know iswhere your white on white shirt is.

TILLEY:

Yes, the one with the permanent

stays.

CUT TO:

4 EXT. CADILLAC DEALERSHIP - DAY 4

BB is now sitting in a cubicle in the office with theSalesman, going over the contract on the car.

BB:

Now don't try to hustle me here... you know what I mean. I hate

being hustled. Give me an honest

price, not one of your 'special'deals... give me an honest price.

Do I make myself clear?

SALESMAN:

Now, how much are you willing topay?

BB:

There ya go... there ya go...

you're doing it... you're doingone of those hustle numbers.

(CONTINUED)

3.

4 CONTINUED:
4

SALESMAN:

I'm just trying to get an idea

how much you're willing to pay.

BB:

Four dollars... I want to pay four

dollars a month.

SALESMAN:

That's not an honest answer.

BB:

What do ya want to hear? That I'd

love to pay three hundred and fifty

a month... is that what you want to

hear? Tell me how much you want me

to pay and I'll tell you how much

I'll pay, but don't do a hustle on

me... I don't like that. How much

do I want to pay? I'd like to pay

nothing!

CUT TO:

5 EXT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - DAY 5

Tilley's leaving the house with his tie undone around

his white on white shirt. He carries his sports jacket,

and Nora is standing at the door yelling at him.

NORA:

You're being unreasonable. You

don't even want to listen.

TILLEY:

I don't know what I did... I got

no idea. If it's my fault, I'm

sorry... I'm sorry. I can do no

better than that. A full

unconditional apology.

Tilley walks down the steps of the house and goes to his

car -- a Cadillac. He gets inside, STARTS the ENGINE and

pulls away. Nora remains on the porch watching the car

... one lonely figure in a neighborhood of hundreds of

duplicate houses.

CUT TO:

6 EXT. CADILLAC DEALERSHIP - DAY 6

BB and the Salesman are coming out of the office.

(CONTINUED)

4.

6 CONTINUED:
6

SALESMAN:

If you even have the smallestproblem, call me personally andI'll just shoot you straight intothe service department.

BB:

And I get a loaner if the car'sgot to stay?

SALESMAN:

As we discussed, you get a car ifthe car has to be kept overnight.

BB:

I get a loaner?

The Salesman nods.

CUT TO:

7 INT. TILLEY'S CAR - DAY 7

He drives along, mumbling to himself.

TILLEY:

She's gonna drive me to my grave...

I'm headed to my grave... thewoman's driving me insane... it'snot supposed to happen this way.

He starts moving his head -- stretching his neck fromright to left.

TILLEY:

It's not even eleven o'clock

and my neck is stiffening up.

He juts his jaw out.

TILLEY:

My neck's tight... it's tight.

CUT TO:

8 EXT. CADILLAC DEALERSHIP - DAY 8

BB gets into the shiny, baby-blue Cadillac, puts it inreverse and starts to back out of the car lot.

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Barry Levinson

Barry Levinson (born April 6, 1942) is an American filmmaker, screenwriter, and actor. Levinson's best-known works are comedy-drama and drama films such as Diner (1982); The Natural (1984); Good Morning, Vietnam (1987); Bugsy (1991); and Wag the Dog (1997). He won the Academy Award for Best Director for Rain Man (1988) which also won the Academy Award for Best Picture. more…

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