There's Something About Mary script
Synopsis: Ted's (Ben Stiller) dream prom date with Mary (Cameron Diaz) never happens due to an embarrassing injury at her home. Years later, Ted hires Pat Healy (Matt Dillon) to track down Mary so he can reconnect with her. Pat lies to Ted about Mary and he finds out everything he can about her to trick her into dating him. Ted travels to meet Mary and has to weave through the web of lies that Pat and Mary's friend Tucker (Lee Evans) have woven to try and win her over.

FADE IN:

EXT. CUMBERLAND, RHODE ISLAND HIGH SCHOOL - MORNING

It's the early 1980's and everyone is arriving at school. We push

through the parking lot crowd to a nervous, lanky kid, TED

PELOQUIN.

MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)

When I was sixteen years old I fell in

love...

CLOSE ON - RENISE, a tough girl with stringy brown hair and a

shiny forehead, as she turns toward the camera.

TED:

Hey, Renise.

She barely looks at him as he approaches, just drags on her smoke.

RENISE:

Hey.

TED:

So what's up?

RENISE:

Eh.

TED:

Great. Great.

(beat)

So listen, uh, I was wondering if maybe you

wanted to go to the prom you know, with

me.

Renise looks unenthused.

TED (cont'd)

It's no big deal, whatever I mean, if you

want.

RENISE:

See, the thing is, I heard a rumor that

this guy I like was gonna ask me.

TED:

Uh-huh.

RENISE:

Yeah, so...I'm gonna wait and see what

happens there...But that sounds great,

yeah.

Ted nods, confused.

TED:

Okay.

(beat)

So is that a yes or a no?

RENISE:

I think I was very clear, Ted. If

everything else falls apart, maybe.

Renise throws down her butt and storms off.

TED:

I'm gonna hold you to that.

CUT TO:

EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT

ANGLE ON - a pretty girl, MARY, climbing off a ten-speed in the

school parking lot. She's athletic and tanned and doesn't have a

bad bone in her body.

MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)

Her name was Mary. She'd moved to our

little Rhode Island town from Minnesota two

years earlier.

She locks up the bike and starts walking toward the school.

MAN'S VOICE (V.O.)

Mary was very smart, and very cool, and she

had a faceful of eyes that promised you a

better life if you could only know her.

As she approaches the camera, we PAN to see Ted watching her. He's

sitting on a picnic table with two FRIENDS.

FRIEND #1

Hey, dirtbud, who you going to the prom

with?

Finally Ted takes his eyes off Mary.

TED:

Ah, I don't know if I'm even gonna. You

know, not my style.

FRIEND #2

You have a style?

FRIEND #1

Why don't you be a gentleman and ask Rosey?

TED:

(perks up)

Who?

Friend #1 makes a jerk-off motion.

FRIEND #1

Rosey Palm, your girlfriend. God knows you

spend enough fucking time with her.

The guys LAUGH.

TED:

(out of ammo but doesn't

know it)

Yeah, and who are you gonna take, your own

palm?

His friends stare at him.

FRIEND #1

Clever. I like the way you just spun that

around on me.

Friend #2 notices Mary talking to her FRIENDS.

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Ed Decter

Edward I. "Ed" Decter is an American film director, film producer and screenwriter. His credits include, There's Something About Mary, The Santa Clause 3, The Santa Clause 2, The New Guy, The Lizzie ... more…

All Ed Decter scripts | Ed Decter Books

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"There's Something About Mary" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 18 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/there's_something_about_mary_525>.

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