South Park script
South Park  Episode #Episode 101 (1997)
Synopsis: South Park is an American adult animated sitcom created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone for the Comedy Central television network. The show revolves around four boys—Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick—and their bizarre adventures in and around the titular Colorado town. Much like The Simpsons, South Park uses a very large ensemble cast of recurring characters. Intended for mature audiences, the show has become infamous for its crude language and dark, surreal humor that satirizes a wide range of topics.

EXT. SCHOOL BUS STOP - MORNING

STAN, KYLE AND KENNY wait in the snow for their school bus,

holding their lunch boxes and debating.

KIDS:

(Singing)

School days school days, teacher's

golden-

Kyle's little brother, IKE, bounces into frame.

KYLE:

-Ah damn it, my little brother's

trying to follow me to school again.

IKE tries to talk.

IKE:

BaBa Simi

KYLE:

Ike, you can't come to school with

me!

IKE:

BaBa Simi ba baa.

CARTMAN:

Yeah, go home you little dildo.

KYLE:

Dude! Don't call my brother a dildo.

STAN:

What's a dildo?

KYLE:

I don't know... and I'll bet Cartman

doesn't know either!

CARTMAN:

I know what it means!

KYLE:

Well, what?!

CARTMAN:

...I'm not telling you.

STAN:

What's a dildo, Kenny?

Kenny talks, but we can't understand him through his thick

coat.

KENNY:

Mph rmph phrmph m phrmph mmr.

The boys all laugh.

CARTMAN:

HA YEAH! THAT'S WHAT KYLE'S LITTLE

BROTHER IS ALRIGHT!!

Suddenly, Kyle grabs Ike by the feet, swings him around, and

bashes Cartman in the face.

CARTMAN:

OW!

STAN:

Dude that kicks ass!

KYLE:

Yeah! Check this one out!

(to Ike)

Ready Ike? Kick the baby

IKE:

Don't kick the baby.

KYLE:

Kick the baby.

Kyle kicks his brother down the icy road.

IKE:

Wahhhhh!

Ike shoots down the road with a playful scream, and crashes

head first into a group of mail boxes.

Cartman yawns grotesquely.

STAN:

Whoa, Cartman, looks like you didn't

get much sleep last night.

CARTMAN:

That's 'cause I was having these

bogus nightmares.

KYLE:

Really, what about?

CARTMAN:

Well, I dreamt that I was lying in

my bed... In the dark...

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Matt Stone

Matthew Richard "Matt" Stone (born May 26, 1971) is an American actor, animator, screenwriter, television director, producer, singer, and songwriter. He is best known for being the co-creator of South Park along with his creative partner Trey Parker, as well as co-writing the 2011 multi-Tony Award winning musical The Book of Mormon. more…

All Matt Stone scripts | Matt Stone Books

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"South Park" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 20 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/south_park_156>.

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