Scary Movie script
Scary Movie (2000)
Synopsis: Scary Movie is a 2000 American horror comedy film directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans. The film is a parody of the horror, slasher, and mystery film genres. Several mid- and late-'90s films and TV shows are spoofed, and the script is primarily based on the '90s hit horror films Scream (1996) and I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997).

EXT DREW'S HOUSE ' NIGHT

Modest home on the outskirts of town where no one can hear

you scream, HALLOWEEN NIGHT.

INT. DREW'S KITCHEN ' NIGHT

CLOSE ON YOUNG HOLLYWOOD STARLET, A LITTLE ADORABLE SEXPOT

WE WOULD ALL LOVE TO SEE KILLED FOR THIS SCENE.

She grabs a tin skillet of "Jiffy Pop" and puts it on the

lit stove.

PHONE RINGS.

She answers.

DREW:

Hello.

A raspy male voice with a southern accent familiar to most

Americans.

V.O. BILL

Hey baby, what are you wearing?

I got a new box of cigars I want

you to'

DREW:

Hi Bill. Look, I can't talk right now.

V.O. BILL

Aw, come on. It took two bottles of

Wild Turkey to get Hillary to sleep. Can't

you just talk for a minute?

DREW:

I'm sorry. I can't. I got company coming

any second.

V.O. BILL

Alright, well give me a kiss.

She blows him a kiss.

V.O. BILL (CONT'D)

Remember baby, who's yo daddy!

A long tongue comes through the phone and licks her face.

She slams down the phone.

DREW:

Pervert.

Phone rings again.

DREW:

Look Bill, I told you'

SCARY VOICE:

Who's Bill? Is that your boyfriend?

DREW:

Who is this?

SCARY VOICE:

Tell me your name and I'll tell you mine.

DREW:

I don't think so.

SCARY VOICE:

What's that noise?

DREW:

Oops, I farted, I didn't think you would hear me.

SCARY VOICE:

No, that popping noise.

DREW:

Oh, I'm making popcorn. I'm getting ready to

watch a video.

SCARY VOICE:

Really? What's it called?

DREW:

Big black jocks' it's my favorite. There's this

guy in it, Jimmy dang a lang. He's hung like'

SCARY VOICE:

What about scary movies? Do you have a favorite?

DREW:

Oh. Uhh' The one where the girl gets

harassed on the phone.

(she passes a "Scream" poster)

A beat.

SCARY VOICE:

You have a nice voice, and you look

good in that tight blue sweater.

DREW:

(frightened)

Oh my God! You can see me? I haven't even

finished putting on my make-up!

She hangs up, runs to a mirror, starts fixing her hair and

puts on lipstick.

Phone rings. She doesn't answer. It stops. Suddenly her

pager goes off. Page reads

"Killer 911". Drew screams. Then the computer voice says

"You have a threat."

Phone rings again. Drew answers.

SCARY VOICE:

Don't ever hang up on me again!

DREW:

What do you want?

SCARY VOICE:

To see you split up the middle.

DREW:

Sorry, I don't do G-strings.

She hangs up. The phone rings immediately.

DREW:

Look you asshole. My boyfriend's gonna

be here any second, and he plays football, and

he'll kick the shit out of you.

SCARY VOICE:

Oh, really? Turn on the porch lights.

Drew turns on the porch light.

We see a TEENAGE BOY strapped to a chair, his mouth covered

with duct tape.

DREW:

That's not my boyfriend. I fucked him a

couple of times. But that's all.

The lights go out.

DREW:

Look, I'm calling the cops.

SCARY VOICE:

You might want to check the back door

first. You forgot to lock it.

She screams and drops the phone in horror. She races to the

back door.

EXT. DREW'S BACK DOOR ' NIGHT

We see a SHADOWY FIGURE also running to the back door.

INT. DREW'S BACK DOOR ' NIGHT

She gets there one step ahead of the shadowy figure and

locks the door, then chains it,

then puts "The Club" over the doorknob.

Drew backs away from the door in terror. The figure

disappears. The suspense

mounts'

DING DONG! The doorbell. Drew is frozen in fear ' who is

it?

She punches 9-1-1 on her cordless, then puts the receiver to

her ear.

SCARY VOICE:

(from phone)

Aren't you going to answer the door?

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Shawn Wayans

Shawn Mathis Wayans (born January 19, 1971) is an American actor, DJ, producer, writer and comedian who starred in In Living Color, The Wayans Bros., and White Chicks. He is the brother of Keenen Ivory, Damon Sr., Marlon, Kim, Elvira, and Nadia Wayans. more…

All Shawn Wayans scripts | Shawn Wayans Books

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"Scary Movie" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 23 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/scary_movie_975>.

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