Scary Movie 2

FADE IN:

INT. HOUSE -- LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

A party is winding down. Only a FEW GUESTS remain. They all

are gathered around the piano. A YOUNG PRIEST, FATHER HARRIS,

plays an old standard. Everyone sings along. A WOMAN in the

group, mid-40's, conservative, really getting into the song,

starts giving a soulful rendition, dropping to her knees ala

James Brown. The song ends. Everyone cheers. Father Harris

starts another.

HARRIS:

Who knows this one?...

(singing)

"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!"

They all join in.

A YOUNG GIRL, MEGAN, enters the room. She watches the group.

The group notices Megan and slowly stops singing.

CLOSE ON:

Megan. Her eyes seem vacant, almost like she is sleep walking.

She mutters something.

MEGAN:

You're going to die.

The group looks confused.

The young girl pees on the floor.

CLOSE ON:

A WOMAN in the group, mid-40's. She is the girl's MOTHER.

The mother apologizes to her guests.

MOTHER:

I'm sorry. She's been really sick.

CLOSE ON:

Megan. THWACK!! She is smacked on the head by a rolled

newspaper.

REVEAL:

Mom holding the newspaper. She shoves Megan's head into the

pee and rubs her nose in it as she continues to whack her

with the newspaper.

MOTHER:

No! Bad girl! Bad girl!

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. HELL HOUSE -- NIGHT

The street is covered in thick fog. The only light is by a

street lamp.

A taxi pulls into the frame. It reads "YELLOW CAB."

A TALL, DARK FIGURE gets out of the taxi.

CAB DRIVER (V.O.)

Hey you, pay your fare.

The figure takes off, running into the fog.

CAB DRIVER:

God damn priests always pull this

sh*t.

Cab drives off.

CUT TO:

INT. FOYER -- CONTINUOUS

A doorbell RINGS. It plays the THEME to "THE EXORCIST."

CLOSE ON:

The mother answers the door.

The dark figure lifts his head up, revealing that it's Father

McFeely.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Uh... I'm Father McFeely

MOTHER:

Father, come in, please.

Father McFeely enters. The mother closes the door behind

him.

MOTHER:

I'm so glad you're here.

FATHER MCFEELY:

I came as fast as I could, but at my

age the little soldier needs a lot

more thumpin before it starts pumpin.

If I tickle my ass before...

MOTHER:

It's okay. I understand.

FATHER MCFEELY:

How is she?

MOTHER:

(sadly)

She's gotten worse, Father. She won't

eat, she won't talk. The child won't

even let me touch her.

FATHER MCFEELY:

(reflecting)

Yes... Sometimes you have to give

them candy.

The mother gives Father McFeely an odd look.

They are interrupted by Father Harris. He extends his hand

to McFeely.

HARRIS:

Father.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Not unless you have a paternity test

to prove it.

Harris looks confused.

HARRIS:

No, I was sent by the church to assist

you. My name is Father Harris.

They shake hands.

HARRIS:

Would you like to see the girl?

FATHER MCFEELY:

Soon. First, I must bless this house.

McFeely walks to a room and opens the door.

INT. ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

Small bare walls. A window in the center wall.

McFeely closes the door. He sits and opens a bible and begins

to read.

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