INT. MRS. BRUCE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Decorated in Carol Brady chic. When it's not gaudy, tacky,
and loud, it's blander than toast. Colors like lime green
and sunshine orange should be reserved for popsicles only.
MRS. BRUCE, late 30's, enters looking exhausted. She carries
a glass of wine in one hand and a book in the other, Erma
Bombeck's The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank.
HUMMING "We've Only Just Begun," Mrs. Bruce crouches next to
her wildly-ancient entertainment center complete with 8-track.
She flips the first record forward on her Ronco Record Mate.
Album after album flaps forward. Olivia Newton-John, Neil
Diamond, the Osmond Brothers. She stops on the Carpenters
and sighs at the serene cover art. Just what the doctor
Placing the vinyl on the turntable, she CLICKS the dustcover
closed and FLICKS "Play." Reclining in her Lazyboy, she sips
her wine, opens the book and awaits the mellow tones of Karen
Suddenly, her eardrums are hammered by machine gun GUITAR.
Caustic ROCK 'N' ROLL assaults her senses. She jumps, spilling
her wine all over herself. This isn't the Carpenters...
Racing to the entertainment center, she turns the volume
control knob so violently, it comes off in her hand. The
music is even louder now.
Flustered by the awful noise, she tries lifting the dustcover.
It's stuck. She screams and covers her ears. This is Hell.
Running to the rear of the huge console, she stretches to
reach the plug, but can't. Fingertips millimeters away.
As the cacophony POUNDS she shakes the entire stereo with
all her frantic might.
SCREEEEEECH! The needle scrapes across the vinyl with a
shrill, finally coming to a stop. Whew, silence!
Then, POP, the dustcover opens unceremoniously. Shaken, she
grabs the record with trembling hands and reads the label...
KISS - LOVE GUN, SIDE TWO
Mrs. Bruce's blood boils.
KISS! The devil's music!
EXT. LEX'S HOUSE - NIGHT
A small, two-story house amid a suburban neighborhood of
other two-story houses. Uninspired architecture. Spindly
A faint yellow glow emanates from a cellar window across
which shadows frantically dart. Over the CRICKETS, we hear
MUFFLED, BADLY-RENDERED ROCK 'N' ROLL. SCRATCHY, GUTTURAL,
CAMERA MOVES to the cellar window. Inside we see four TEENAGE
BOYS who are to blame for the racket. Band practice.
INT. LEX'S BASEMENT/BEDROOM - NIGHT
An inner-sanctum of KISS devotion. Faux-wood paneling is
plastered with countless KISS posters, pictures, fold-outs.
The ceiling is wallpapered with more KISS posters. KISS dolls,
magazines, records, comic books clutter the shag-carpeted
floor. Fast food wrappers heap over the KISS garbage pail.