Bean script
Bean (1997)
Synopsis: At the Royal National Gallery in London, the bumbling Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) is a guard with good intentions who always seems to destroy anything he touches. Unless, of course, he's sleeping on the job. With the chairman (John Mills) blocking Bean's firing, the board decides to send him to a Los Angeles art gallery under false credentials. When Bean arrives, his chaos-causing ways are as sharp as ever, and curator David Langley (Peter MacNicol) has the unenviable task of keeping Bean in line.

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY. BOARDROOM - DAY

A very grand room, with lots of wood and some very famous portraits

round the walls.

A group of grave gentlemen and gentlewomen. They are the trustees of

the National Gallery. LORD WALTON, a very grand man, sits at the table

head. To his right sits his assistant, GARETH. All are deep in

thought. LORD WALTON fidgets with a pencil on the table. He raises

his head as though about to speak. Everyone looks up expectantly.

And... LORD WALTON goes back to fidgeting. So does everyone else.

CUT TO:

CREDIT. POLYGRAM & WORKING TITLE PRESENT.

CUT TO:

INT. NATIONAL GALLERY. BOARD ROOM - DAY

The scene is as silent and static as we left it Last... then:

GARETH:

I suppose we could just sack him.

CUT TO:

EXT. MR BEAN'S STREET. DAY

Mr BEAN comes out of his house, ready to face the world-

He walks up the street, tutting slightly at a 'NO PARKING' sign he

passes. The street is totally car-free except for a very visible lime

green mini. A policeman strolls by and glances down at a pair of legs

sticking out from under it, next to a toolbox. He moves on, satisfied

that someone is mending their car.

BEAN approaches the car and whips out the fake legs he left there. He

then unlocks the big padlock that secures the car door, pops the fake

legs inside, fiddles with something else in the back seat, and drives

away at a frightening speed with a smug look on his face.

The Theme Music - big and dramatic - begins, as do the rest of the

credits.

BEAN gaily motors on - then unexpectedly the sweeping theme tune jumps,

as if it has hit a scratch: the cinema audience should be worried

there's a sound fault.

BEAN comes to a street full of sleeping policemen ~ he goes at them at

quite a lick - and every time he shoots over one of the bumps, the

theme tune jumps violently.

BEAN looks a little annoyed into the back seat - we now see the cause

of the problem. Instead of having a car radio, BEAN has an old record

player strapped into the back seat, playing the theme tune.

On he drives, through empty streets - then JOLT - he's reached the

glorious familiarity of Central London, Big Ben and all - but heels now

in dreadful traffic.

Heels not happy. He looks to the left and sees a very thin alleyway.

He takes out a metal comb from his pocket and, using it like a bomber's

sight-line-checker, measures the front of his car and the width of the

alley. He 'S satisfied - does a 90-degree turn - and shoots down the

alley. It is such a perfect fit that sparks fly from the door handles

as they graze the walls.

But at the end of the alley, the traffic's just as bad. BEAN notices

he's outside Harrods. There's a tail-coated Security Guard at the

'front door. BEAN watches him stroll a bit down the street - and takes

his chance. He turns and drives straight through the double doors,

into the store.

2

INT. HARRODS. DAY.

BEAN and his car whizz through the ground floor, past perfume counters

and leather glove racks.

CUT TO a Security Guard. As he passes one of the counters, BEAN's

little car just shoots behind him. The Guard continues through the

Children's section there are giant elephants and teddies, children's

size cars, then two huge plastic tractors - and then, stock still,

strangely in harmony actually, the Lime Green Mini with BEAN in it.

The Guard walks straight past.

The moment he is gone, BEAN shoots off again - but, damn!, spies

another Guard and is forced to turn and drive down some very steep

stairs indeed. The theme song goes CRAZY as the record player jumps.

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Richard Curtis

Richard Whalley Anthony Curtis, CBE (born 8 November 1956) is a New Zealand-born English screenwriter, producer and film director. One of Britain's most successful comedy screenwriters, he is known primarily for romantic comedy films such as Four Weddings and a Funeral, Bridget Jones's Diary, Notting Hill, and Love Actually, as well as the hit sitcoms Blackadder, Mr. Bean and The Vicar of Dibley. He is also the co-founder of the British charity Comic Relief along with Lenny Henry. more…

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