We Dive at Dawn

- Nearly at the boom, sir.

- Yes, we'll be in by tea if you don't hit it.

- Keep her on the same course.

- Aye aye, sir.

- What's the weather like, Coxswain?

- Oh, so-so, sir.

- Well, another pleasure cruise over.

- Yes, sir.

Can I give you a hand, sir?

- What are you doing this leave, sir?

- Depends on the bank balance.

Are you due for leave, Coxswain?

Yes, sir. We've got a wedding in our family.

The TI's getting spliced to my sister.

Really? Oh, that's fine.

Don't forget my piece of cake.

OK, sir.

- Flunkey, try and get the salt out of these.

- Leave it to me.

It's got to be faced.

One of us has got to miss his leave.

What's that?

Oh, hello, Dicky. We were just talking

about Arnold going sick.

- It was his turn to stay behind this time.

- Thinking of taking his place, were you?

Who, me? Not at all.

But somebody's got to stay behind.

I know that. Tonsils at your age! Why didn't

you have them out when you were a kid?

My mother didn't believe in it, sir.

Well, we've got to fix this. Let's see.

You're already staying, aren't you, Nobby?

Yes. How about Tiggy?

He doesn't mind missing his leave.

Oh. And what about the TI here?

And yourself, Coxswain?

Mike's getting married this leave.

As he happens to be marrying my sister...

You two and this wedding!

This is the third time it's cropped up.

It's not my fault

that something always happens to interfere.

Nothing's going to interfere this time.

That's right, Coxswain, get him all tied up.

Shut the hatch, flood the boat.

- You're done for this time, TI.

- Who asked you to butt in, Hobson?

I like to take a look at the petty officers

now and again. It's good for discipline.

I wish he was one himself. I'd have put him

down for this. Don't take any notice of him.

Just because he's mucked up his own life.

I'll put Williams down for this job,

and he can lump it.

We ain't all got your sex appeal, Canada.

Aw, it's easy. Anybody can pick up a dame

outside a factory.

Sit still, jellyfish.

I found a nice piece of homework last leave.

Works in a fag shop.

Ought to be good for a packet of 20, then.

- I suppose you'll be seeing the wife.

- What?

I was talking to Dowsley.

She'll be parked outside the dock gates now.

- Can't get a female under 40 in my village.

- Why not, Oxford?

- The Poles are billeted there.

- (Laughter)

You almost make me sick.

Nothing else to think about on leave

but females, dames, homework.

With all the ugly fizzogs here,

what can you expect?

You're safe enough, Spud.

The women won't worry you.

- And why not?

- You've got no brass.

By the time you settle your bets,

you won't have any left.

I don't need money to enjoy my leave.

You wouldnae need much.

I doubt it'll be more than 48 hours.

- Like to bet on that?

- I'm not betting.

- But dinnae bargain on more than 48 hours.

- Ah, go boil yourself!

Go and jump in yer oil tank.

- Sound off, Coxswain.

- (Shrill whistle)

Stand to attention on the casing.

- Slow astern, starboard.

- Slow astern, starboard, sir.

Hello, Freddie. A nice quiet trip?

Yes, worse luck. I see you've sunk

another couple of fishing smacks.

Yes, just a 10,000-tonner and a 4,000.

What the hell do you work with?

Old Moore's Almanack?

(Horn blasts)

- Hello, Taylor. No luck again?

- Afraid not, sir.

- Any to fix?

- No, sir.

- Crew all right?

- One case of tonsils.

Very well. The usual notice for sea.

Give leave to one watch.

Yes. Excuse me, sir.

Gordon? Are you going to the wardroom?

Get me Grosvenor 2777, will you?

- Yes, sir.

- Who are you seeing this leave?

- Your Aunt Margaret again?

- I can't risk it, sir. Her husband's on leave.

Here, one for you.

And three for the skipper.

Wild violets, jasmine.

Fish and chips?

- Fish and chips.

- Hello, Freddie.

- Have a drink?

- Pink gin, please.

- Hello, sir.

- Hello.

- Nice trip?

- Very boring.

- (Buzzer)

- Close shave.

Yes, I'm using a cutthroat.

- Your call's through, sir.

- Thanks.

- Two pink gins, please.

- I'll bring them right away, sir.

That you, Drake? How's the gout?

Good. How's the old man?

Good. And how's the bank balance?

Oh. Oh, well, I'll have to manage on my pay.

Now, listen carefully.

I want you to ring Miss Seymour

and make a date for lunch tomorrow.

- Yeah. Get a four-pound box of chocolates.

- Four-pound box of...

- There is a war on, sir.

- Is there? I haven't seen much of it lately.

Well, use your influence, Drake.

Book two seats at the Hippodrome in the

evening and a table at the Grill afterwards.

Now, Tuesday. Miss, erm... Carter.

No, no, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Erm... Miss Davis, I think.

- No, no, hang on, Drake.

- Make your mind up, Freddie!

That'll be all for the present, Drake.

I'll fix the rest with you tomorrow. Goodbye.

If you two baboons had

the elementary instincts of gentlemen...

- (Coughs)

- That's a nasty cough you've got, TI.

- Yes, sir. Erm... No, sir.

- Something you want to see me about?

- I wanted to see Lieutenant Brace, sir.

- I'm afraid he's not here. Anything I can do?

Erm... Well...

- Well, what is it?

- It's about Petty Officer Arnold's leave, sir.

Somebody's got to stay and take his place.

- Yes, I think it's arranged Williams stays.

- Yes, sir. Well, that's just it.

You see, it's very hard on poor Williams, sir,

with his domestic troubles, sir,

and his two youngest in hospital, sir.

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