U.S. Marshals

[MAN 1 GRUNTS]

[MAN 2 GRUNTS]

[GUNSHOTS]

[GROANS]

MARK:

This is Tow-6 to base. Hello?

This is Tow-6 to base. Pick

up. Get your hand off the doughnut.

DISPATCHER [OVER RADIO]:

Hello, Tow-6, this is base.

MARK:

Thank you.

- How long to get back?

- Fifteen minutes.

- See you soon.

- That's a 10-4.

EXECUTIVE:

Hoffman told you?

What are you doing listening to one word

coming out of that idiot's mouth?

You've probably just cost this company

the whole account!

Jesus, Mary and-

Oh, sh*t!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[HORN HONKING]

Hey.

[HORN HONKING]

MAN:

Look out!

[GRUNTS]

Oh, my God.

[HORN HONKING]

[SIRENS WAILlNG]

Hang in there, buddy.

Help is on the way.

Hang tight.

MAN 1:

Over here!

FIREMAN:
You're gonna be okay.

Don't move.

All right.

PARAMEDIC:

Can you hear me?

Easy, easy! watch his left

arm. It could be broken.

- Careful.

MAN 2:
Left hand is...

Hey. Check this out.

It was Velcroed under the dash.

COP:

Thanks.

He had a gun.

[CLUCKING]

[CARNIVAL MUSIC

PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

WOMAN 1:

Let's go back, then.

WOMAN 2:

I ought to slap her.

Big ass.

WOMAN 1:

She was a b*tch. I mean, a real b*tch.

WOMAN 2:

Tell me about it.

Ooh.

Fine, chump.

Okay, kids, wake up. We're going inside.

[GUN C*CKS]

Kids, you ready?

NEWMAN [OVER RADIO]:

Yeah, we're ready.

Okay, we're gonna knock on the door.

Knock on the door, Biggs.

GERARD:

Police!

Police! Freeze!

Don't even think about it!

BIGGS:
Get away from the gun!

- Hey!

What are you doing in here?

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Hands behind your back.

WOMAN 3:

Let go of her, you moron!

You're gonna have to kill me!

[ALL GRUNTING]

[SHRIEKS]

Hands in the air! Against the wall!

MAN:
Okay, okay!

- Do it!

[GRUNTS THEN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]

COMMENTATOR 1 [ON TV]:

Blocked it. Look at this.

[ALL GRUNTING]

COMMENTATOR 2:

Yeah, right back to work.

Got him up high, then tossed him down.

RENFRO:

Hit him! Hit him!

[CRYING]

Get over there!

WOMAN 2:
Not my baby!

COOPER:
Hey!

[WOMAN 2 GROANING]

COOPER:
Come here. Get over here.

- Just trying to get-

NEWMAN:
Freeze! Where are you going?

- My baby's crying.

- My baby's crying.

- Stay where you are.

- Freeze. Stay where you are!

- I'm checking on my baby.

- Just let me check on my baby.

- Get away.

- Get away.

- Have a heart, man.

Get away!

[SHRIEKS]

[SCREAMS THEN SOBBING]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Excellent work, young man.

[ALL GRUNT]

COMMENTATOR 1 [ON TV]:

What a fight!

[MICHAEL YELLS]

Okay, Michael.

Regular or extra-crispy?

[CANS THUD]

RENFRO:
Goddamn this.

- Aah!

BIGGS:

Ow!

- Oh! Ow!

- Damn, Michael!

- I could've done that.

- I'll need a tetanus shot.

Cosmo, help me out of this chicken suit,

will you?

MARIE:

That's $120 more.

I don't understand. with the taxes

Americans pay, health care should be free.

You got my vote, honey.

But you're still $18 short.

Marie. Marie!

[MUMBLES]

Mark.

Oh, Mark. What happened?

Don't worry, baby.

It's not as bad as it looks.

See? Legs still work.

Yeah, but your neck, your arm.

I got a plate there from an old injury,

so they put that on as a precaution.

- Okay.

MARK:
I don't know what happened.

I'm driving the truck to base.

The next thing I know,

I was upside down in the cab.

Oh. Then you were very lucky.

You have no idea.

COP:

Mr. Warren?

Officer Porter,

thanks for your help.

I'm sorry, you're under arrest.

- Is this a joke?

COP:
This is no joke.

Come on. We'll straighten it out

down at the station.

WOMAN:

Step aside, ma'am.

[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]

- Hey, Cosmo. This one's on me.

- About time, you cheap bastard.

- Only one.

- Then I'll make it a double.

As long as I live, if I never see Gerard

in yellow tights again...

...I'll die a happy man.

- Hey fellas, look. Look, you're on TV.

- Hey.

Hey, hey, hey. Look at us! we're on TV!

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

We're on TV. Make it louder!

REPORTER [ON TV]:

The Conroy brothers were brought...

...to the courthouse

for an extradition hearing.

When he grabbed you by the throat,

I thought I'd take a dump.

- I did. I had to go change my underwear.

- Oh, man.

Hey, look at my head! Twenty-seven

stitches! All because of this scumbag!

Twenty-seven stitches, my ass!

During the raid,

both brothers were wounded.

The Conroys made allegations...

- ... of excessive force...

- Sam.

...particularly against senior

Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard.

I don't look like that. That guy's ugly.

Hey, Sammy, nice suit. She'll have

a martini and we'll take a check.

- Who died?

- Shut up.

- three Tennessee

state corrections officers dead.

Reporting from the federal courthouse,

Stacia Vela.

Reporting for Channel 2 News, Chicago.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the United States Marshals!

[ALL CHEERING]

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands

together for the U.S. Marshal Service.

ALL:

Speech! Speech!

Noah Newman, Cosmo Renfro,

Savannah Cooper, Bobby Biggs!

You guys are, without doubt,

the sorriest excuse...

...for a warrant squad

I ever worked with.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

But nobody got hurt.

It's probably important.

- And you stayed close on the lead dog.

- Woof!

- Which means you get to keep working.

RENFRO:
Get paid too?

A round for this group here,

and a double milk for this kid.

Mr. Warren. We seem

to have a small discrepancy.

MARK:

Let me help you with that.

Um, that's not me.

You caught that. Uh, you're aware it's

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