High Plains Drifter

Let's go, Buster.

Beer.

And a bottle.

Ain't much good.

It's all there is.

Will you want anything else?

Just a peaceful hour

to drink it in.

Flea-bitten range bums

don't usually stop in Lago.

Life here's a little too quick for 'em.

Maybe you think you're fast enough

to keep up with us, huh?

A lot faster than you'll ever live to be.

Yes, sir?

A shave and a hot bath?

That'll be 90 cents.

Cash.

What I mean to say is that

the 90 cents usually comes first...

but, hell, it don't really matter.

Before or after,

what's the diff?

Eau de lilacs only ten cents more.

Lilac water.

The ladies love it.

Shall we make it

an even dollar? No.

Right you are, gentlemen.

Be right with you.

Just have a chair.

You don't like our company?

What's the matter with you?

I'm speakin to you, pig sh*t.

I think he's got

some of that pig sh*t in his ear.

I don't know which smells worse,

him or the sh*t in the bottle.

What did you say

your name was again?

I didn't.

No. I guess you didn't

at that, did you?

Why don't you watch where you're going?

Look at this. It's ruined.

There's no need for all that.

All what?

If you want to get acquainted,

why don't you just say so?

Acquainted?

Well, you'd be amusing

if you weren't so pathetic!

Just a minute.

I'm not finished with you yet.

At a distance,

you'd almost pass for a man.

But you're certainly

a disappointment up close, aren't you?

To your feet, maam.

They're almost as big as your mouth.

You know what you are?

Just trash.

A bottle of whiskey for courage

and the manners of a goat.

You're the one who could use

a lesson in manners.

Not from you, whiskey breath.

Let go of me.

Let go!

Let go of me!

Let go of me!

Put me down!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

My horse.

A room.

Would you like to register,

please, sir?

Somebody, please help me.

Help me!

Damn you all to hell!

- Good morning. Sleep well?

- Yeah.

Say, are you planning to stay,

keep your room another night?

- I'll let you know.

- All right. Anything you say.

'Mornin.

- I've still got a bath coming.

- Hot bath comin right up. Yes, sir.

Put some more hot water in that tub.

This gentleman wants a bath.

You can hang your clothes

right down there on the peg.

- Miss Peekins does a nice- I'm sorry.

- Right this way, captain, sir.

Unlessn you want Mordecai

to take eem out while you're soakin...

Miss Peekins does

a right clean boiled wash.

Uses lye for pants rabbits,

she does. No itch, no scratch.

Pour the water, Mordecai,

before it gets cold.

We want the gentleman

to be comfortable.

I've been wantin to talk to you.

I might as well

get this stool here...

and set right down

and do it, huh?

If that's all right

with you, huh?

What it's about is Billy Borders.

Dont know the man.

You missed your chance,

cause you shot him yesterday.

Him and Ike Sharp

and Fred Morris.

You know, those is just the names

in case you're interested.

Well, I'm not really interested,

Sheriff.

I can't say I blame you.

Billy, he wasn't a loved man, no.

He didn't have much personality.

What he did have was all bad, just bad.

What you're tryin to say is

there's no charge, right?

Forgive and forget.

That's our motto.

You dirty bastard!

I'll kill you!

Damn it, Callie!

- Callie, damn it!

- Let go of me, you fat lug!

Stop- Ouch!

Tell him I'd appreciate it...

if he doesn't leave town

until I talk to him.

Goddamn it!

I'll kill you!

I wonder why it took her

so long to get mad?

Because maybe you didn't

go back for more.

It don't seem to me

that we got a choice.

Seein' we got no time

to send for help...

and further seein' that

our sheriff's about as much use...

as tits on a boar.

Sorry I'm late.

Anything happen?

No, no.

His Honour's had the floor.

In case you hadn't heard, Stacey Bridges

and the Carlin brothers...

- are due to get out of jail today.

- They comin' here?

That's their plan according to reports.

No reason to believe they've changed it.

Possibly they've repented

their ways.

Preacher, they're gonna burn this town

to the ground, and you know it.

What we're talking about now

is a way to stop them.

We've got to find

that way now, and quick.

Nevertheless, my conscience

will not allow me to be a party...

to the hiring

of a professional gunfighter.

Maybe you'd like to go out there

and stand them off yourself, Preacher.

I'm just a simple man of God.

It's time we unsimplified you,

Reverend.

Borders, Morris and Short

were professional gunfighters...

on the payroll

of the Lago Mining Company...

to protect our interests

and the interests of this town...

which are identical.

They stood around drinking beer

and looking snotty for a full year.

Then one day before we actually

needed the bastards...

they managed to get

themselves killed.

So if you've got a suggestion,

wedd be delighted to hear it.

Otherwise,

take your conscience elsewhere...

while we think

about saving your ass.

Land sakes!

Wheres time gone to?

Miss Peekins eldest

is feeling poorly. I promised-

if you gentlemen will excuse me?

Well, we were talkin'

about hirin' a gunfighter.

But we don't know anything

about that fella there.

We know he took the best we could find

to hire like Grant took Vicksburg.

Yeah, with a hidden gun in his lap.

Three for three.

One right between the eyes!

Goddamnedest shooting

I ever even heard of.

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