Hardware

This is Angry Bob, the man with

the industrial dick!

Coming at you loud and clear

on W.A.R. Radio.

Rise and shine folks,

its a beautiful day.

Just look at that sky,

its a work of art!

Nature never knew colors like that.

When you look at it,

be sure to wear your shades!

The radiation count is way up...

...and the heatwave aint expected

to let up either.

Wheatercontrol tell us it will probably hit

As for the good news...

There is no f***ing good news!

So lets rock with

one of our golden oldies...

New York Max,

thats the place to make it now.

Youre talking 9000 tons of steel,

...kitchen appliances, typewriters.

audio gear, tons of autoparts!

Works of art, hanging in the galleries

Just hanging there, waiting to be plucked.

Clothing, tupes, bridgework, false teeth,

prostetic limbs...

You name it, New York has got it all.

No one is going to repopulate The Big Apple,

not with the rat count the way it is.

You know, stuff is just going begging!

Salvage City, Max...Youll love it.

Dont call me Max.

Well, well well. Hard Mo Baxter.

Taking a little vacation?

Is this authorized?

What do you care?

Nothing that comes in here is authorized.

Oh, untrue. Im primarily legitimate now...

Maybe we should go elsewhere then Alvy?

No, no, wait untill I get my glasses!

Are you sure? We can go somewhere...

No, no, just wait...

That Alvy...

He kills me every time.

My back.

Christ!

Where is the little man?

Hes indisposed...

You pushing something?

See what his sh*t is.

Let me see.

Where did you find it?

Glass flats, Judas sea,

looking all over.

I give you 30.

I knew youd see it my way.

Merry Christmas.

What the f*** was that?!

A zonetripper.

Ive seen his type...

The whole sea is full of them.

- Who was that?

- Someone looking for the bathroom, come on!

I put my boot in his ass

and sent him on his way.

Why dont he piss in the street,

like everyone else?

- Show me!

- Where did you get this?!

- Out in the zone, what do you think it is?

- Probably a maintenance droid.

- Stepped on a fragmine I guess.

- You think so?

Its not alot I can do with this.

Its got good visual circuits, infrared...

Unusual microgear...

I give you 30 cs cash in hand.

but I think I will hold on to it.

This is junk,

what are you gonna do with it?

Its christmas eve Alvy,

you should know that.

You used to be an elf, didnt you?

You cant expect me to go back to

my girl empty handed, can you?

You dont know my girl.

How much for the other stuff?

Yep Alvy, your as high as you ever gonna go.

Cant help it if mother caught a dose

in the big one. Come on.

You just wait.

All those years out in the zone

your kids will make me look like narcissis.

Hey, hey folks! Rise and shine.

I got an update here on the conflict,

we all know and love.

The deathtoll from last nights violation

of the christmas ceasefire is still rising.

It currently stands at around 578,

with the counterattack now well underway.

I send this message of holiday cheer

to all of you:

Kill, kill, kill!

Yo, hey Miss Wakowski.

Vernon, the son of a b*tch

was at my door again.

Who?

I dont know. I didnt see him,

he just keeps ringing my bell.

- Then how do you know its the same guy?

- Vernon, it is.

- I couldnt see anybody.

- Yes... thats what worries me.

- Let me speak to Chief.

- Hes out on his rounds.

Dont worry miss Wakowski,

well keep our eyes peeled.

Listen Vernon I... hey!

Ive got a delivery coming up this morning.

- Be sure you let him up this time.

- Will do.

As planned, the emergency

population control bill...

...will take affect at midnight,

on the first of the year.

Eager citizens are already lining up

at sterilization centers.

Wich will be opened around the clock

to aid in the transition.

to what the President terms:

A clean break from procreation.

In a related story...

The two creators of the population control

bill was found dead yesterday...

Ready...on...boil.

You took a beating on that deal man.

That zonehead fell asleep

and you were still jacking up the price.

Well, I just want Jill to be happy.

Thats what I like about you, Max.

Youre a real romantic.

Youre the cabby?

Where you guys going?

Downtown.

You guys like music?

Check these guys out.

Used to be okay down here,

you know that?

Used to be, you could walk

down here any time.

Go out on a saturday night

with just brassknuckles, nothing else.

Maybe a piece of wood, piece of

pipe, you know what I mean.

Nowdays you need a gun all the time.

F***ing bunch of sh*t, what these people

are doing to the f***ing world.

Its the same every time man.

The minute Im back on earth,

I wanna be in space again.

Yeah, right. Till one of you boosters

blows up under you...

...or your heatshield ripps off

on the way home.

Hey, dont knock it.

Dying in space is real easy.

One pssst and youre gas... spread

out over a thousand miles of stratosphere.

Jesus man! Think of the view.

No more sitting in a bunker

coughing your guts out.

Waiting for your first cancer cells to show

or kids to be born blind and blue

Because I mean,

you have had one trip to many or...

...caught snake-eyes

in a genetic crap game.

Jesus, do you think Jill wants you to go on

wading around up to your arse in...

...radioactive iodine for the rest

of your life.

Think she liked it better if I ended up

like one of these bums?

Holy sh*t!

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